Rock of Ages: Tom Cruise Sings! And Not Just In the New Trailer
Y'know what the first Rock of Ages trailer was missing? Tom Cruise singing.
Most of the newest trailer for the film, which hit the web this week, is exactly the same as the one we brought to you in December. But there is one big difference: the dulcet tones of Cruise's voice "rocking" to Bon Jovi.
A fine night at karaoke? Sure. But it's far from Cruise's best musical performance. Don't take our word for it -- judge for yourself after the jump, where you'll find the trailer and a collection of other soulful renditions by the former Mr. Kidman.
Um, does New Line Cinema know Tom looks like the cryptkeeper in the trailer's cover shot? In any case, you'll have to wait until the very end, and about 800 repetitions of the name "Stacee Jaxx," until you get to
"Livin' On a Prayer" "Dead or Alive."
You're great, Tina. But you're no Tom Cruise. What, you couldn't even bring him up on stage with you for a "Private Dancer" duet?
Look at those moves! Tom Cruise: the original triple-threat. (Quadruple if you count the Scientology.)
Don't cry, Tommy! We shouldn't have made that cheap shot at your religion. Maybe singing a Beach Boys lullaby to Dakota Fanning will make you feel better.
Sarge: The Chanukah Chutzpah Tour... "Kiss My Mezuzah"
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 8:00pm
Fundarte Presents: Chiflón By Chile's Silencio Blanco Theatre Company
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 8:30pm
JTF's Friday Night Live
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 9:00pm
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 10:00pm
TicketsFri., Jan. 27, 11:00pm
Screw Stacee Jaxx. This is the Tom Cruise we want to see. Jerry Maguire 4 LIFE.
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