Friday, December 11, 2015 at 10:05 a.m.
Don't you feel calmer already?
Courtesy of Reviv
Even though Basel has been over for nearly a week now, our bodies are still recovering. How did your body fare?
If you're anything like me, you're feeling sluggish, achey, and anything but motivated. You can pump your body full of caffeine and swear to go to bed by 9 p.m., but adult bedtimes aren't always realistic, and chances are, your blood stream deserves a break.
As it turns out, Reviv wants to do exactly that. Whether you need to replenish your vitals, get over a hangover, stock up on vitamins, or feel like you got a good night's rest, the South Beach wellness center specializes in intravenous cure-alls for anything that ails you. The center is swanky, the procedure is painless, and though it can be a little pricey, it is hands down the best way to recover from a week like Basel. I should know. I tried it.
I stumbled into the sleek Reviv storefront on Washington Avenue, bringing with me a week of embarrassingly spotty memories and the urge to vomit everywhere. That's the kind of hangover I am blessed with, the one that lasts two days and makes you throw up every 30 minutes. I was a bit skeptic, but the kind staff promised me I'd leave Reviv totally well, revived, and a lot healthier than I'd be after my usual hangover ritual: eating a whole pizza by myself while binge-watching Rick and Morty.
As I explained my situation, I was told the Ultraviv treatment was most appropriate. According to the Reviv website, Ultraviv helps with sleep deprivation, dehydration, work overload, and nightlife exhaustion. I have all of those things at any given moment, so I burped some kind of approval and followed the lady into a quiet, more private room.
I plopped into the comfy leather chair and was handed a little remote. The next 30 minutes were especially awesome since they left me sitting in a massage chair. The staff members helped me set up my phone to charge, and then they hooked me in to the IV drip. I'm not scared of needles. I used to donate a lot of plasma in college. I was having flashbacks of being super broke and just as hungover, but it would all be over soon.
This is the main lobby of the Reviv facility. Personal rooms are smaller and come with a personal massage chair experience.
Courtesy of Reviv
There were magazines available to read, but I just played Words With Friends and generally zoned out. The anti-nausea elements take effect almost immediately, and the rehydration process happens rather quickly. Most people end up having to pee pretty badly, but I was so dehydrated, I only went to the bathroom because I was advised. I had a lot more energy when it was over.
The Ultraviv experience costs about $99, which means it's not something I'm willing to do every damn weekend, but for extreme emergencies, it's the easiest way to go. Reviv also provides services for people who aren't vampire street scum. There's Megaboost for those of you who are already healthy and want a big shot of vitamins, antioxidants and electrolytes so you can feel even more self-righteous. You can order some B12 for those days you don't want to face without a literal shot of energy to the arm. There's even a Slimboost package, which is supposed to help you lose weight by detoxifying, boosting your red blood cell production, and upping your metabolism.
It's not the cheapest way to bring yourself back to life, but is sure is the quickest. It's a pretty harmless process, once you get over the cost, and in a time like this when the Basel hangover looms over the city like a sunless sky, it's almost damn near necessary.
Reviv Miami Beach
1601 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, is open Monday through Sunday from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Prices range from $99 for IV infusions to $25 for energy boosts. Call 305-763-8150 or visit revivme.com.