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RantSports' "20 Hot Pictures of Miami Cheerleaders" Lacks Actual Hotness, Somehow

We're with you, RantSports.com. When you write, "The University of Miami has swagger on the court," we nod our heads in agreement. When you say, "You either love the Hurricanes or you hate them," we're like, Don't we know it. When you say, "The U is... where some of the hottest college cheerleaders like to kick their legs up and shake their hips while not wearing much clothing," we think, Well, that's pretty pervy and objectifying, but still true.

But then you gave us the pictures. And that's where you lost us.

Don't get us wrong. The young women in the following photos are certainly very attractive, and we're sure they also have delightful personalities and talents that will lead them to successful careers as doctors and CEOs. But someone at UM needs to hire a better photographer, because the press is not exactly capturing their beauty on film in these shots.

You know how even Halle Berry can look derpy if you pause Catwoman at the wrong moment? This is that. Hell, this is a parade of that.

See? A perfectly attractive college-age woman. She's even sporting a bare midriff and a little extra leg. And this photo captures her at her hunchbackiest.

Yeah, yeah, she looks like she's topless, fine. But when you pull yourself out of the seventh grade, you might also realize that the camera caught her in that awkward blinking-while-smiling stage. Makes you wanna say gesundheit.

 

RantSports' "20 Hot Pictures of Miami Cheerleaders" Lacks Actual Hotness, Somehow

Another lovely yet hunchy lady. Her posture and facial expression indicate she's trying to be polite, but she can't quite understand your thick accent.

RantSports' "20 Hot Pictures of Miami Cheerleaders" Lacks Actual Hotness, Somehow
via RantSports.com/Mark Zerof-USA TODAY Sports

Hairography: Sexy in real time, awkward in still shots.

Case in point.

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