Your dog could be immortalized as Tony Montana in oil on canvas by a mysterious Edgewater artist called Mxytsplyk.
His new "Puppy Mugs," a commissioned work series of ironic pet portraits, are coming soon to a son of a bitch near you.
We caught up with the talented paintrepreneur to find out how he came up with the concept, why pets are better than people, and how to get your very own mutt in a space suit.
New Times: How'd you come up with this?
Mxytsplyk: My friend and I came up with this concept for "Puppy Mugs." We were thinking of how we could make something that everyone's gonna love. Everyone loves their pets, so I put the two together and realized that poeple are gonna wanna see their pets immortalized in an ironic portrait.
You might not love your kids, but you for sure love your dog.
The dog's face is more appealing than the human face. Dogs are more symmetrical. They're naked. They're free. Kids are ugly. They go through puberty, they have freckles and pimples, and horrible personalities.
Dogs are loyal. You might even have a bad dog, but it's a loyal-ass dog.
You could put a little kid in an ironic scenario, but that kid is probably a brat. Humans suck.
How'd you come up with the ironic scenario concept?
Everyone I know is into ironic-ass portraits. Go into Blackbrick right now and you're gonna see a Napoleon Bruce Lee, and a Chuck Norris too. Everywhere you go everyone wants the quirky new things, so I thought to myself, "Why don't I do something even quirkier that panders to people."
The word I'm using is pandering. I'm bribing them with their pets, trying to paint their best friend in an ironic way. Your dog was never an astronaut or a cowboy. But you always remember what a good friend they are, and how they make you smile.
Is it just dogs, or all pets?
Dude, I'm totally down for iguanas, birds, whatever. I call it "Puppy Mugs" because that was the cutest name I could come up with. Any animal that you love, I'm down to paint.
The artist at work on an Edgewater condo commission
Do they get to pick the scenario?
Ideally I would. You can't give clients too many options. They don't ever really know what they want. If you give them a menu, they'll read it forever. For shit to get done someone has to take the initiative, and if someone's gonna be creative, it should be the artist. If the client had the initiative, they would have painted it themselves.
What scenic options are there?
I'll paint your cat as a cowboy, a naughty schoolteacher, Paul Bunyan, Scarface - it's endless, but it has to be right. Not every dog can be Scarface. It has to be just the right amount of ironic, and that's what makes it tasteful.
What if somebody comes to you with a specific idea?
If they have a good vision, I can respect it. But they need to approach me in a way where they understand it's a creative project, not some sort of 'have it my way' shit. If I paint your yorkie and you're not happy with it, I'll sell it to someone else with a yorkie.
How should a client approach you?
Just email me at email@example.com, send me an image and certain things you like, and we'll go from there.
How much does it cost and what do they get?
$300 for a 9-by-12 canvas. This is a real portrait painted by hand in high detail, so it's pretty cheap for what they're getting.
Who is the space dog?
Spiro is my first commission from Aholsniffsglue.
How do you say your name?
It's pronounced mix-it-spit-lick. It's just gibberish. It's a long way of saying nothing. It's inspired by one of Superman's villains, a very magical being from another dimension who has every power in the world. He has a crazy name and personality so I meshed with that guy.
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