Earlier this week, we were fantasizing about the best Miami reality show concepts -- and of course Pepe Billete was on the list. The gruff-voiced puppet has charmed thousands of fans in South Florida with his spanglish observations and declarations of love for that Cuban culo. They follow him on Twitter, share his videos on YouTube, and read his columns here at Cultist -- so you know they'd tune in to watch P$ on the small screen.
Unless, of course, they're starring in the show themselves. Pepe's looking for locals to star alongside him in the series. Want in? We asked the man (er, puppet) himself about the show, when it's scheduled to air, and the best ways to get next to that tiny felted pimp.
Cultist: What's the premise of the reality show? Can you compare it to any existing show?
Pepe Billete: Think ¿Qué Pasa, USA? meets that show with all those gringos gordos that build motorcycles. Sprinkle in a little bit of the Kardashians pero with less puta and more chonga, and you have an idea of where I'm going with this.
Will it actually appear on TV?
That's the plan, mama. National, too! Pa la pinga la Honey Boo Boo. This is a project I'm working on with a very large and very respected production company. Esto no es cosa Micky Mouse. Pero pa la pinga, that's not important. What people need to know is that I have the financial backing, production capabilities, and opportunity to get a reality show on air. If you're interested, metele mano, si no, vete a cagar!
What types of people are you looking for?
Here's what I'm looking for. Must fulfill at least four [of the following traits]:
- Loud, polarizing personalities from Miami. (Being Cuban is not a pre-requisite.) This is a must!
- Running a family business, preferably one that deals in cash. People running competing businesses are even better!
- Multi-generational characters -- old world generation (Cuba) vs. new school first or second generation (Hialeah)
- Feuding brothers, feuding sisters, father/son or mother/daughter relationships
- Heavy into Catholicism or even Santeria Are there San Lazaro statues everywhere?
- Chongas and gangeros
- Is there a family out there that has made tons of money but live ghetto fabulous?
How can an applicant improve his/her chances of being selected?
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
The more they fulfill the above criteria in real life, the better.
The network backing Pepe's new show has not yet been announced, and no official air date has been set. As for when the rest of us can see the results of this casting call, all Billete could say was, "Turn on the tube in when it gets aired AHHHH!!!!!!"
Fair enough. If you want a shot at Cuban puppet stardom, you must apply by March 9. Watch the video above for submission instructions.