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Our Miami Guide for President Obama, from Hialeah to Twist

Even if you don't support President Barack Obama, it's pretty obvious the man loves you -- along with the rest of Miami. The Prez touches down in the Magic City today, marking the second time this year alone and the soulful serenader's 14th stop in South Florida since his inauguration.

Hey, we get it. We are pretty fantastic. (And oh yeah, there's also the matter of our state's 29 electoral votes, and the fact that Republicans haven't won the presidency without Florida in nearly 90 years.)

Still, it's a shame to fly all the way to South Florida without seeing the sights. This is one of the country's biggest vacation markets, after all. And we know President Obama prides himself on being a man of the people. So we've put together a handy travel guide for the Commander in Chief, with plenty of places for both business and pleasure.

Our Miami Guide for President Obama, from Hialeah to Twist

American Airlines Arena for Knicks vs. Heat
Is it even remotely possible that President Obama hasn't come down with a case of Linsanity? No, no it is not. And since the Knicks are in town tonight, it's only natural that the President would join the ranks of President Clinton and stop by the AAA for a game.

Our Miami Guide for President Obama, from Hialeah to Twist

South Beach Wine & Food Festival
The pricey parties of SoBeWFF would be the perfect place to casually campaign for a few extra bucks. Plus, there's the opportunity to hang out with Morimoto. Everyone wins! Obama's already hosted a beer summit; why not a wine summit, or a Bacardi rum summit, or a summit over tasty food truck cuisine?

Our Miami Guide for President Obama, from Hialeah to Twist

Hialeah
Here in Florida, the Hispanic vote isn't just important, it's critical. Mitt Romney knows that, which is why when he was here, he stopped in Hialeah, broke it down to guitarists playing "Guantanamera," and chowed down on roasted pork. Barack, we suggest you do the same, but with a twist. Like Mitt, head directly to Hialeah. Leave the suit at home, and put on your finest guayabera. And if you really want to show up your boy Romney, head to Latin Café on the corner of W 12th Avenue & W 49th Street and order yourself a café con leche.

 

Our Miami Guide for President Obama, from Hialeah to Twist

Twist
The issues of the LGBTQ community are as important in this election as they've ever been. In fairness, if it comes down to President Obama vs. Rick "Frothy" Santorum, we all know who gay voters are going to choose. Still, a little extra pandering never hurts. So, President Obama, we humbly suggest you go to Twist. It's the oldest gay establishment on South Beach and a guaranteed (occasionally always dirty) good time. Have a seat, order up an appletini with the twinks and the bears, and don't forget to tip the strippers in the back. (No, not in that way.)

Our Miami Guide for President Obama, from Hialeah to Twist

Florida International University
After spending his morning with Gucci-loving, BMW-driving, spoiled University of Miami kids, we suggest Obama heads over to FIU. There, he will find what real Miami students look like. (Oh no we didn't.)

Our Miami Guide for President Obama, from Hialeah to Twist
drakepictures.net

King of Diamonds
South Florida suffered a tragedy last weekend: the scary, life-threatening accidental fall stripper Tip Drill suffered during her set at King of Diamonds. She survived, thank goodness, and is in recovery; judging from her latest tweet ("God loves me!!!"), she's in good spirits. But the KoD community is understandably shaken. We need a real leader to step up, survey the scene, and inspire us to move forward. President Obama, you are that leader.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

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American Airlines Arena

601 Biscayne Blvd.
Miami, FL 33131

786-777-1000

www.aaarena.com


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