If Morrissey's call to hang the DJ is carried out tonight, then his onetime Smiths bandmates Andy Rourke and Mike Joyce may be seen dangling from a gibbet. Thankfully the bassist and drummer for the legendary Manchester quartet don't take Mozzer very seriously. Still why is the duo spinning records instead of playing live music? "It's just having a bit of fun really and getting paid for it," says Rourke, who promises tunes from the Rolling Stones to the Scissor Sisters. Over the years the two have worked as sidemen for the Pretenders, the Buzzcocks, and Badly Drawn Boy. Currently they're gearing up to collaborate with singer-songwriter Vinny Peculiar. "Hopefully, Andy and myself will stamp our version of events on the music, so it'll sound a bit more Smithy," says Joyce. Fans of the late great '80s band will undoubtedly cheer. The duo spins at 11:00 p.m. at Revolver, 175 NE 36th St. Cover charge is $10. Call 305-576-1988. -- By Mosi Reeves
Onstage at the South Florida Folk Festival a while back, poet Chris Chandler seemed to be speaking in tongues. He spouted out his pop cultural commentary so energetically it was almost impossible to keep up. Think of someone channeling Jon Stewart and the fast-talking guy in the FedEx commercials from the 1980s. Using the handle Over the Counter Culture, Chandler used to perform locally with renowned songbird Magda Hiller. He left South Florida a few years ago. For the last 4 years, though, he's toured with friend Anne Feeney, a veteran of Seattle's raucous World Trade Organization protests and author of cool tunes such as "Have You Been to Jail for Justice?" The dynamic duo comes to town on the Anyone-But-Bush tour, playing tonight at 8:00 at the Main Street Cafe, 128 N. Krome Ave., Homestead. Tickets cost $12. Call 305-245-7575. -- By Nina Korman
Contrary to popular opinion, the Bernstein Beat is NOT a new dance music genre unveiled at the Winter Music Conference. Rather it is multilingual Jamie Bernstein, daughter of Leonard, narrating along to the composer's more popular compositions. For instance Jamie will read as the New World Symphony plays "Mambo" from West Side Story, offering fun insights to her father's songs for children and adults. Performances take place at 1:30 p.m. in English and 4:00 p.m. in Spanish at the Lincoln Theatre (541 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach). An instrument petting zoo precedes the shows. Tickets cost $10. Call 305-673-3331. -- By John Anderson
Always in Tune
Musical artists salute comrade
For more than 30 years the name James Roos was synonymous with thoughtful criticism in South Florida, first as the Miami Herald's chief dance reviewer and then as its classical music critic. Last year Roos was diagnosed with a brain tumor and since has been recovering from surgery. His friends in the local, national, and international musical world want to make it very clear that they haven't forgotten him and have banded together to present Tribute to James Roos: A Musical Celebration tonight at 6:30 at Gusman Concert Hall (1314 Miller Dr., Coral Gables). Roos and his family will attend and be treated to performances by the Amernet String Quartet, the Jerusalem Quartet, soprano Helen Donath, basso Eric Owens, cellist William de Rosa, and pianists Paul Posnak and Bruno Leonardo Gelber, to name a few. PBS's Live from Lincoln Center host Martin Bookspan will be master of ceremonies. Tickets cost $25 and $50; a $125 ticket includes a donation to a scholarship fund in Roos's name at UM's school of music, prime seating, and a postshow reception at the Biltmore Hotel. Call 305-284-4940. -- By Nina Korman
Heart of Brass
The word at the bandstand: That Bob Mintzer guy has chops. Of course the veteran saxman should know his way around a Charlie Parker-esque chord progression; he's been at it for more than 30 years. Starting out with Tito Puente and Buddy Rich in the early 1970s, Mintzer has become a top cat in the jazz world with his own big band and the perennial Grammy-winning Yellowjackets. A dedicated teacher, he holds regular workshops and performs with groups such as the University of Miami Concert Jazz Band, which he'll do as a benefit for WDNA-FM (88.9) and the UM School of Music, at 8:00 p.m. at Gusman Concert Hall, 1314 Miller Rd. Tickets cost $10. Call 305-284-5813. -- By John Anderson
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Musicians shoot for stardom
The Florida Grammys' top music execs have had their say. They selected 6 unsigned acts, ranging from pop crooners to hip-hop provocateurs, who will compete for more than $10,000 worth of free studio time, photo sessions, contacts, and most important, exposure. Local funksters Brimstone 127 are among the finalists. The progressive group goes up against pop singer Nicolle Chirino, the hard-driving rock trio DC-3, Orlando-based R&B singer Hassanah, fiery singer Tomey Sellars (finalist of VH1's Born to Diva), and Tampa's eclectic nouveau rockers the Beauvilles. Each act performs before industry bigwigs. The event begins at 7:00 p.m. at crobar, 1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Tickets cost $10. Call 305-672-4060. -- By Juan Carlos Rodriguez