Occupy Valentine's Day: Five Ways To Protest the Love-fest
Look, you're not the only one who's bitter and alone on Valentine's Day. But don't turn into one of those cowards who are "happily single" and labeling it a Hallmark holiday. Nobody likes to be alone on V-Day -- but that doesn't give you an excuse to lock yourself in a dark room to binge on chocolates and heart-shaped treats, whimpering to heartbreak tunes on loop.
Instead, turn on the lights, drop the chocolates, and press pause on your iPod. Get out there and get active. If the Occupy movement taught us anything, it's that protest -- in whatever way, shape or form -- is the utmost freedom of expression. Here are a few ways to Occupy Valentine's Day 2012, just to get you started.
Stash that shit.
Elizabeth Thomson, Flickr
We know it's pretty unfeasible to ask you to buy out the entire chocolate supply in South Florida. Instead, grab a couple of your sore and single pals, and hit your neighborhood drug stores. Fill your baskets with all the sweet treats you can find (or afford). Store the supply for a few future rainy days, or gift them to a homeless shelter. Can't afford a buy-out? Then stage it. That's right: Find clever ways to hide all of the candy around the store. It's the ultimate V-Day inconvenience system.
You hate roses. Everything about them. Especially the red ones. And the worst part about seeing flowers on Valentine's Day is how they make you feel when you are not the intended recipient. The time has come to intercept the flower guy.
You could go the vigilante route: Stalk his truck until it stops. Pick a fun mask -- the president, a stocking, Cupid perhaps -- and throw it on. Park behind him and ambush. Take the flowers and run. Note: This will almost certainly get you arrested. Instead, why not stage a peaceful protest outside the doors of your favorite flower shop? We can hear the protest chants now: "What do we want? To be loved! When do we want it? Now!"Next Page
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