Women need very little to survive: food, water, and high-speed Internet access so they can peruse the gazillion images of Ryan Gosling that float around like meteoroids of pure hot in cyberspace. The ladies have been obsessed with Gosling ever since the release of The Notebook. Hell, those "Photoshopped" abs are even enough to make us overlook his fake Brooklyn accent. And when ladies become loony from the sizzle of sex appeal, they're capable of doing pretty funny things.
Case in point: the Hey Girl Ryan Gosling web meme, which takes pictures of the Drive and Blue Valentine star and inserts captions that always start off with "Hey girl," and end in campy, flirty hilarity written from Gosling's perspective. This particular meme has become so popular that it has sprouted spin-offs like Feminist Ryan Gosling and Hey Girl Teacher.
This is too much power for one mere mortal. Jesus is not amused.
So we at Cultist have decided to diffuse some of this ex- Mouseketeer's glory by creating a few un-sexy Ryan Gosling memes in an attempt to make Gosling a little less drool-inducingly appealing. Can it be done? You be the judge.
Cheap-Ass Ryan Gosling
Creepy Ryan Gosling
Chauvinistic Ryan Gosling
Eunuch Ryan Gosling
Emotionally Needy Ryan Gosling
Hipster Poser Ryan Gosling
TMI Ryan Gosling
Extremely Bad Taste Ryan Gosling
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He's Never Going to be Your Boyfriend, Ryan Gosling