Nine Oscars Party Themes For Extremely Devoted Film Fans

Nine Oscars Party Themes For Extremely Devoted Film Fans
Dave_B_, Flickr

It's Cultist's favorite February holiday: The Oscars! (Sorry, Presidents Day.) And boy have we been getting prepared. Because no Academy Awards season is complete without a stellar viewing party, we have been racking our movie-lovin' brains for the best dishes, clothing, and party favors for you to foist upon your fellow cinephiles.

But merely watching Hollywood's biggest night on your couch went the way of having only five Best Picture nominees. (Read: It is so two years ago). Ergo, we propose nine full-fledged party themes based on those films up for the Academy's top honor -- complete with fun game suggestions to keep your guests entertained during that boring middle part. (Sorry, Sound Mixing category. It's not like anyone was paying attention to you anyway).

Just beware: spoilers lie ahead. Hey, don't blame us; you should have watched these movies by now. Seriously.

The Artist
Encourage your friends to don all black and

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white and communicate solely through charades in honor of this year's most silent

flick and likeliest Best Picture winner. For you fans out there, might

we suggest a smattering of quiet foods, like, uh, yogurt and soft

cheeses sans crackers? (We're going for thematic -- not necessarily

tasty.) When the speeches start to bore you, put the Oscars on mute and

see how good you are at reading lips. Just make sure no one leaves

without their giant, elaborate, and completely non-creepy portraits.

Midnight in Paris

your pals to leave their know-it-all acquaintances and obnoxious

in-laws at home for this shindig celebrating the time-skewing Woody

Allen film. Have your guests get dolled up in flapper fashions and

drink French wine until they're too zozzled to remember what century it

is. (The 1920s: So hot right now.) Conduct a Charleston dance-off every

time the orchestra cuts short a long-winded speech. And please remember

to hand out those earrings you stole from your fiancé. That party favor

will be the bee's knees!

Finally, the

opportunity to bring those math nerds and jock friends together in one

gathering. Have your crew don their favorite home-team baseball jerseys

(no matter how ugly they are -- we're looking at you, Marlins fans).

Throughout the ceremony, nosh on giant packs of gum (chewing tobacco is

near impossible to get out of rugs) for this based-on-real-life story

about the Oakland A's general manager. Make a game out of leaving the

room every time your favorite nominee pops up on the screen, lest they

lose due to your presence. Party bags should include a spittoon and a

statistics textbook.


The Help
Don't do any

cooking or cleaning in advance of this event; instead, have your friends

do it for you when they arrive. For party attire, opt for those

incredible 1960s dresses instead of the hideous maid uniforms. (We

wanted to own everything Emma Stone wore in this movie about

Civil-Rights-era racial tension.) For food, serve fried chicken --

because it just tends to make you feel better about life -- but avoid

the pie. Trust us. Between the best acting categories, put your

pals to work polishing your silver. And remember to distribute old commodes coats at the start of your social function.


this is an idea you can set your watch ginormous clocks by. Get decked

out in berets to celebrate the genius 3-D adventure of an orphan living

in a train station. Munch on delicious baguettes (bonus points if they

were stolen), and during the Oscars short film section, find new ways to

dissuade your love interest's dog from biting you. Regarding favors:

This is a great opportunity to finally get rid of all those blank-faced,

nightmare-inducing automatons that watch you sleep. (Why oh why do you

let them watch you sleep?!)

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

going literal for this party theme: Spend the night getting up in each

others' faces and hollering. (What do you want us to say? Sept. 11 was a tragedy, and this movie looked too cloying to actually watch.) The dress

code is "grieving chic" and dishes should be comfort food. Party game:

See who could come up with the most plausible excuse for how this got

nominated for Best Picture over Bridesmaids or Super 8. And for favors, dole out copies of the book the film was based on; we hear it is stellar.


War Horse

your chums into trenches for this party in honor of Steven Spielberg's

World War I Oscar-baiting epic. Guests should don century-old soldier

uniforms as they feast on -- what else? -- actual war horse. (Mmmmm, war

horse. Nom nom nom.) Start a rousing game of "pin the tail on the war

horse" during the annual PricewaterhouseCoopers' section. And send every

guest home with their own personal war horse. We'd also encourage all

party attendees to yell "Waaaar Hooorse" at random intervals, a la this Saturday Night Live sketch.


The Descendants

out those Hawaiian shirts and bikini bottoms for a luau celebrating

this movie starring George Clooney as a sad sack who learns his comatose

wife cheated on him. Serve traditional island fare, like pineapple and

mai tais. And when Cirque du Soleil takes the stage instead of Jason

Segel singing "Man or Muppet," deal with your (totally justified) anger by

prodding your pals to air their family's dirty laundry. Mull the idea of

offering all guests your own family heirlooms as party favors, but

decide at the last minute to just keep them for yourself.

The Tree of Life

your head in shame if this is the theme you elected to go with. Much

like no one understood this movie, no one wants to come to your party

based on it.

--Jordana Mishory

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