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Nine Best Things to Do This Weekend to Help Us Forget Miami's Football Futility

All the talk of death penalties in Miami this week has Old Sparky considering coming out of retirement. But, of course, the talk involves allegations about Miami's favorite football team -- the Miami Hurricanes, in case you didn't' know - and possible sanctions. The Miami Dolphins, on the other hand, have been sitting back morosely enjoying the attention switch from a fan base who had been focusing on another year of dissatisfaction about the area's professional team (when was that Perfect Season again?).

But their grace period officially ends tonight when the Fish are set to fry in the first home game (even if its preseason) of the year against the Carolina Panthers at Sun Life Stadium. Expect to hear lots of boos for a team, and especially quarterback Chad Henne who continually fail to impress. Luckily, for the rest of us, the game is also an opener for another crowded slate of weekend events. And we could use a break from the deafening and dumbing down sports talk we've heard all week.

Friday

Say it ain't so Grandma!
Say it ain't so Grandma!
  • So My Grandma Died, Blah, Blah, Blah: If football drama just doesn't do it for you anymore, there's always

    family to pick up the slack. So My Grandma Died, Blah, Blah, Blah,

    debuts at the Light Box at Goldman Warehouse and reminds you that while

    you can pick your friends, you can't pick (or write eulogies for)

    family.

  • The Brazilian Film Festival

    rounds back to where it first formed 15 years ago and festival

    organizers are celebrating by screening a trio of flicks gratis on

    opening night. Payback and Time of Fear at the Colony Theatre and DZI

    Croquettes at the Miami Beach Cinematheque (1130 Washington Ave., Miami

    Beach) at 9 p.m.

  • Monster Jam: If film and theater are too high brow, and football makes you depressed,

    then there's no better way to numb yourself to the realities of life

    than watching Monster Jam trucks devour compact cars for fun. Is seeing

    monster trucks worth the drive to Broward. Of course it is, and just

    think about all the opportunities for road rage.


Saturday

  • Has the War on

    Drugs Been Successful? All the testosterone filled entertainment on Friday might have you

    consider toking up to ease your vibe on the weekend. But before you do,

    you might want to listen to what the ACLU sponsored forum Has the War on

    Drugs Been Successful? at Books and Books at 5 p.m has to say. Our prisons are

    packed with non-violent offenders and we've spent about as much as our

    national debt on a war of futility. Enough already.

  • Alison Krauss and Union Station: Some people think Alison Krauss' voice is the best in the world, in any

    genre. We don't think that's an exaggeration but find out for yourself

    at the Broward Center of the Performing Arts in Fort Lauderdale starting

    at 8 p.m. Saturday. She's joined by the usual suspects, Union Station.


So this is how Yoko Ono learned?
So this is how Yoko Ono learned?
  • Interpreting Sounds: If you're into creating your own sounds - and tired of trite karaoke -

    show up to the De La Cruz Collection for the Interpreting Sounds

    workshop. Start on your way to perfecting pitch, harmony, piano chords,

    and simple composition just like Yoko Ono did (we mean before she

    sabotaged the Beatles).


Sunday

  • Birdhouse Skateboard MIAtoNYC Tour: Sure, skating icon Tony Hawk has been around a long time. But you won't

    believe just how long when he makes a rare Miami appearance at the

    Westwind Lakes Skate Park at 2 p.m. It's strange that he hasn't visited

    Miami in a decades, but it'll be even more freaky to see him joined by

    his 18 year old son, Riley. Hawk and son will shred a street course.


Miami has great aviation history.
Miami has great aviation history.
Courtesy HistoryMiami
  • Planes on Film: And finally, there's nothing better than wrapping up your weekend with a

    nice movie. Might as well make it educational and HistoryMiami has the

    hook up with its "Plane on Film" event which highlights our storied

    history with flight, including the fact that Miami was the last spot on

    the continental USA that Amelia Earhart ever took off from. Talk about a

    jinx.

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