Naked Spring Break: Nudist Getaways for Grown-Up College "Kids"
Yeah, spring break! Let's lie in the sun all day, get wasted, and flash our tits!
Thousands of kids come to Miami in just that mindset every spring. But for some of us, the aforementioned display of exuberance is so 10 years ago. Not all college students are 18-year-olds fresh out of high school. With the United States economy in a downward spiral for the past decade or so, many of us have returned to school as adult or commuter students.
And for adult students, the usual spring break activities just don't cut it. We've been there, done that, and bought the penicillin. We've thrown up on dance floors and gobbled up Jell-O shots from sorority girls' belly buttons.
Still, spring fever is infectious at any age, and adult students have the right to party like it's 1999 (which, coincidentally, is when some of us graduated college the first time around). So what's an adult student to do? Why, engage in adult spring break fun, that's what! (And by "adult," we of course mean "naked.")
Read on for three types of nudist spring break vacations sure to please anyone who doesn't require a fake ID to purchase Jager-bombs.
Kind of like this, but naked.
via Flickr Loimere
Take a real "pleasure" cruise
Some of us shudder when we think of cruises, which basically amount to floating Walmarts. Screaming children, pasty Midwesterners in speedos, and an endless supply of crappy food — none of it seems very appetizing when you're in your prime. Fortunately, the
perverts entrepreneurs of the world have created cruises with hip adults in mind. There are several "lifestyle" or "swinger" cruises to appease the adult college student in you. We like the Erotic Au Naturel Caribbean Cruise which features such theme parties as "Leather and Lace" and "Roman Orgy," and offers classes such as "How to Incorporate Fetishes into Sex Play." These cruises are clothing optional — we repeat, clothing optional.
This is the only photo of Hedonism that we could publish.
via Flickr Ack Ook
Indulge your Inner Wild Child
If you're more of a landlubber, several all-inclusive resorts promise a hedonistic getaway. The most notorious of these is the aptly named Hedonism in Jamaica. There are several locations, but latitude and longitude are insignificant, since you will never set foot outside the grounds. Each resort is divided into "prude" and "nude" sides. Obviously, we couldn't care less about the prude side, so we "researched" the more appealing part of the resort. From what we've, uh, heard, open sex goes on in several of the resort's open areas such as the hot tub and on the beach. If you wanna get your freak on, this is a good place to start.
Americans arriving in France: "We're about to get naked, y'all!"
via Flickr hoyasmeg
Magique - Experience The Illusion
TicketsSun., Mar. 26, 8:00pm
Dr. Morton - New President, New Foreign Policy: Two-Month Assessment
TicketsMon., Mar. 27, 7:30pm
TicketsWed., Mar. 29, 8:00pm
TicketsThu., Mar. 30, 8:00pm
Jimmy Carr: The Best Of, Ultimate, Gold, Greatest Hits Tour
TicketsFri., Mar. 31, 8:00pm
The Naked City
We know! We weren't aware that such a place existed this side of the Roman Empire either. Cap d'Agde, France is known worldwide as the Naked City. In the naturist part of town, people do everything a la nude — including banking, groceries, dining, shopping, and we assume, have sex. If you want to do something a bit less touristy than a cruise or a resort, and your
nipples eyes perk up at the thought of being able to walk around a city naked, Cap d'Agde is for you.
Send us a picture postcard!
Get the Arts & Culture Newsletter
Find out about arts and culture events in Miami and offers you won't hear about anywhere else.