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Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim: Five Swimsuits For Every Miami Girl

Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim: Five Swimsuits For Every Miami Girl

Miami neighborhoods couldn't be more different from one another. You might even say they have personalities of their own: some more tumultuous and provocative, and some baring a more modest and/or hoity-toity personality. From Hialeah to the Beach, their traits run a wide range.

It's safe to say that the women claiming residency within each one of these Magic City enclaves have the same psychological makeup as the cities they rep."You are what you eat"? More like "you are where you live.

And because it's Swim Week, and we have racy swimwear on the brain, we've decided to pair this year's 2015 collections with the women of Miami, according to their neighborhood personalities. Pretty considerate, huh?

See also: All our coverage from Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim 2015

Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim: Five Swimsuits For Every Miami Girl

5. The Wynwood Wildfox

It couldn't be more obvious that Wynwood and Wildfox were destined to be soul mates. Every retro, high-waisted one-piece and hamburger-printed suit vociferously cried out, "Cool-girl hipster: please buy me!" at Friday night's show. Of course, the likelihood of a young and artsy dame throwin' down some moolah for a Wildfox suit is bleak at best - they have bigger things to worry about, like how they're going to shell out some not-so-hipster-friendly cash for rent this month. Hey, Wildfox still keeps you in mind, Wynwood.

Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim: Five Swimsuits For Every Miami Girl

4. The Trend-Obsessed Yet Family-Oriented Girl From South Miami

South Miami doesn't discriminate against any trend: flash tattoos, flutter tops, oversized pearl accessories resembling a certain French fashion house's Spring/Summer RTW collection (rhymes with Shlanel, get the hint). The girls from the mainstream likes of this neighborhood want it all. But it wasn't just about the celebration of 2014's most saturated trends -- all thrown onto one model -- that made us think about South Miami at L*Space's show on Saturday; modesty and keeping things family-time appropriate was definitely a key factor on the Cabana Grande's blue-marbled runway. That's right, no nip-slips here.

 

Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim: Five Swimsuits For Every Miami Girl

3. The Pink-Pussycat Kind of Girl From Hialeah

Now, before you jump to conclusions, this is not an attack on the City of Hialeah. We love Hialeah. Hialeah really does have a bundle of charming traits, and not to mention, a bundle of cheeky broads. In truth, there are many colorful felines from the personality spectrum who call Hialeah home. But this one goes out to a specific character, that girl who frequents the renowned gentlemen's club of raunchy debauchery and topless shimmies galore -- the Pink Pussycat.

You see, the girl who would don the above suit from Beach Bunny's Swim 2015 runway would not only frequent this boobieville club, but work (and twerk) there, too. And although the sparkling metallic number would prove obsolete after the first twenty seconds of her performance, we think this particular piece would be the perfect intro to one hell of a show. Knock 'em dead, girl.

Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim: Five Swimsuits For Every Miami Girl

2. The Straight Shooter from Brickell

Brickell is the way of the future for Miami; it just smells smart. And somehow, any girl who is fortunate enough to own or rent her very own sky-rise luxury apartment in the Miami metropolis always translates to just that -- luxurious. So, it was only natural to conjure up thoughts of our work-hard-play-harder neighborhood upon the sight of models in zip-up one-pieces with trompe l'oeil digital imagery during Friday's Clover Canyon runway show. Brains and beauty unite!

 

Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim: Five Swimsuits For Every Miami Girl

1. The Loud, Trust Fund Baby From South Beach

Presumably, the best line to come down the runway at this year's shows, Mara Hoffman's signature loud prints -- some of which channeled giant parrots and tigers -- were fit for only one girl: The South Beach babe. But we're not talking about the shabby chic beach bum kind of girl; this is the girl who jumps from rooftop to rooftop in her cut-out one-piece and a broad-brimmed sun hat, and spends her weekends out on Usher's mega yacht. In other words, she's a rich bitch - go on, hate on her why dontcha. After all, that's what she was created for.

Send your story tips to Cultist at cultist@miaminewtimes.com.

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