Memorial Day Weekend: Seven Ways to Tell the Locals From the Tourists
Memorial Day weekend is officially upon us. The influx of tourists has already begun, and those locals who haven't already fled to the Keys or Orlando better get ready to mingle with a couple thousand of their new best friends.
In situations like these, telling the tourists from the locals becomes important. How else are you going to know to whom you can speak your native Spanglish, or make sure that hookup you met at Wet Willie's is just a one-night stand, and not a source of awkward run-ins for the next several months? Unfortunately, telling the tourists from the locals also becomes more difficult during Memorial Day weekend, because only the most dedicated party people (read: locals who are just as crazy as the tourists) venture onto the beach.
So we've compiled this handy guide to the differences between the hoards of tourists that flock South for the weekend and Miami Beach locals who've rarely strayed west of West Ave. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Tourists stagger the streets armed with 32-ounce frozen daiquiris.
Dollhouse Dance Factory: Bring It! Live
TicketsSat., Jul. 1, 8:00pm
TicketsSat., Jul. 8, 8:30pm
You're a Good Man Charlie Brown: Young Professionals
TicketsSat., Jul. 15, 2:00pm
Big Band Concerts with the Florida Wind Symphony
TicketsSat., Jul. 15, 7:00pm
Miami Curves Week Presents: Curves & Comedy
TicketsFri., Jul. 21, 9:00pm
know better than to spend $20 on a drink that'll melt in the Miami sun
in .37 seconds. Flasks, 40s in paper bags, and water bottles filled with
Svedka are the traditional local options.Telltale Sign #2: The Skin
by Sunday morning, can be spotted hobbling down Ocean Drive, their
virgin skin seared medium-well by the tropical sun; their red faces
glowing like beacons in the night.
Locals' leathery skin is unaffected by the blazing rays after years of nearly nude sun-worshiping.Next Page
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