Medical Grade

You wake up with your head and neck strapped tight to a cold steel bed frame. Your adrenaline is surging. You try to reach up, but both of your wrists are strapped down by industrial-grade leather. And your ankles are immovable as well. That’s when the nurse’s face appears an inch above yours. You can tell she’s a nurse from her hat. But this isn’t any run-of-the-mill hospital employee. She’s laughing maniacally, and she’s covered in blood. And then you realize that you’re naked. This is Asilo de los Locos, an especially spooky fetish night at Nowhere Lounge (653 Washington Ave., Miami Beach). Party founder Robert Frost and a room full of psycho, dead, and bloody medical professionals are dancing to music by Web Three and Danny Bled. Here you are, strapped to a table like a lunatic with a murder-crazed nurse ripping her shirt off an inch from your nose. She slaps you on the cheek with a 36C, and the electric tape over her nipple scratches your face. A line of your own blood appears. Then she upends a bottle to your mouth and ice-cold vodka washes over you. The liquor stings as it meets your open flesh, but you can’t do anything to stop it. And you don’t want to. Entrance costs $10 to $20, and there’s an open bar from 10:30 to 11:30. Visit, or call 305-397-8854.
Sat., July 27, 10:30 p.m., 2013


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