Lady Gaga Smells Like Blood and Semen

​Yes, you read that headline correctly. According to, Lady Gaga of the land "Telephone," has her own perfume in the works. Apparently, she's aiming for some seriously corporeal aromas and not the good kind (like babies). Rather, her eau de toilette will smell of blood and semen. We suppose the idea is for all us to reek of Gaga's nocturnal adventures and club carnage. Why not add base notes of tobacco smoke and vodka-tinged puke? 

Reportedly, the scent will be called Monster. Who the hell doesn't want to douse themselves with something named after a beastly creature, which isn't totally human but smells entirely too human? This will be the joke gift under every gay Christmas tree next year, guaranteed. 

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