The Kardashians have once again set their sights on Miami. And the only things standing in their way are the residents of Miami Beach, who must agree to let the show and its stars move into any residential neighborhood before any filming gets underway.
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Look, we're as freaked out and annoyed by the Kardashians as anyone. But please, residents of DiLido Isle, let the Kardashians have their show. Kourtney and Kim, who are planning to shoot another season in which they "take" Miami from a million-dollar Mediterranean-style hub in the Venetian Isles, will become lovable pests, providing backyard entertainment and inspiring lifestyle choices. Not convinced? Here are five reasons to give the show a shot.
1. You could be on TV
Do you remember The Truman Show, that creepy Big-Brother movie starring Jim Carrey as the unknowing star of everyone's favorite reality TV show? Well, the Kardashians have willed themselves into a Truman Show-esque life, and you, dear residents of DiLido Island, just might make a cameo. The Kardashians have so graciously volunteered to have their lives chronicled year after year, as they grow up, grow pregnant, grow older -- all for the fans. (Well, and the millions. But the fans, too.) While TV viewers may be enthralled, you'd get to see the stars up close, perhaps even see yourself on TV -- all while feeling self-righteous that they're stealing your island.
2. You need the excitement
If you have a house on DiLido Isle, it would seem that you lack for nothing -- nothing material, at least. The question is: If you have a comfortable existence complete with money and power, how do you get your juices going? By spending three months living vicariously through the Kardashian sisters, of course. You'll be watching their drama-filled existences play out without ever having to get involved. The paparazzi might come around, but you're the ones who get to be indignant and intruded upon. After all, this was your island first.
3. You can totally perv on those chicks
Security will be tight, sure. But there's still a chance of taking a peek over at the Kardashian's temporary living space to catch a glimpse of those buxom babes in skimpy bikinis. You'll remember your youth and the fine, fit women you used to be, or whom you used to seduce. You'll consider an affair, or plastic surgery. Maybe you'll get a little Viagra or Botox instead, then head back inside your $6 million mansion and have sex with your spouse while you're thinking about Kim Kardashian, or imagining you are Kim Kardashian, in that white hot bikini.
4. Your neighborhood will have serious celeb cred
We're not just talking about Kanye. When Kim and Kris got married, their then-neighbors called the cops complaining of the noise -- coming from Earth, Wind and Fire and Robin Thicke, who'd been hired to play their wedding. We're sure Khloe will stop by with her husband Lamar Odom at some point. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Sure, you may despise the Kardashians, but are you willing to live with them for a little while if it means a chance encounter with a famous person you actually respect?
5. Your home will be extra-safe
With cameras rolling in the neighborhood 24/7, crime rates are certain to drop. And that's not the only improvement in the area's security you can expect. In a neighborhood as exclusive as DiLido Isle, you need the best security to make sure your mansion is safe. Kris Jenner is that security. She's there to advise and whip the girls (and their boyfriends) into shape. She took away Kim's Blackberry. She sent Scott Disick to rehab. She is there to regulate. Get on her good side, and ain't nobody gonna mess with you.
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So go ahead, DiLido dwellers. Sign that petition, then grab a bottle of Moet and pull up a deck chair on the patio of your million-dollar house. At best, living next to the Kardashians could change your life for the better. And worst-case scenario, listening to them bitch and moan about how they need a break from their stressful lives will serve as a three-month-long reminder of how the grass is definitely greener on your side of the fence.