If you grew up in Miami, you've been assessing derrieres since elementary school. You've checked out more rumps than your average proctologist. You're an ass expert. Thankfully, Miami's got its share of great butts thanks to its proximity to the Caribbean, where near perfect tushes have been cultivated for generations.
Since sometime around "If You Had My Love" America took their pervy little eyes from ladies' chests and angled them a little lower. Blame J.Lo, blame bad boob jobs, suddenly having junk in the trunk mattered more than big tatas and booty surgery was an option, even a new trend. There are actually people out there voluntarily sitting on synthetic butts. Anyway, perhaps in response to the popularity of this body part, music producer and chairman of the Interscope-Geffen-A&M Jimmy Iovine and photographer Raphael Mazzucco have joined forces to create a book called Culo featuring pictures of you know what.
The teaser they've created announcing the future arrival of this endeavor features a few slender, mostly white lady asses bouncing about to a Timbaland song featuring Pitbull and David Guetta called "Pass At Me." To be blunt, most of those skinny bitches' bottoms look more like teenage dude butts. Very uninteresting.
Though the photos seem like they'll be sexy and tasteful, let's hope the aesthetic of the book is more hip than this trailer. It's just so Nineties, and not in the Juergen Teller, Larry Clark way. The whole montage of cheesy European jaunts, the seaside, the lion's ass, and then tiny behinds just isn't very cutting edge.
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And who the fuck makes music videos for books? Guess if you're a producer, you think, more bank for my buck? Anyway. We'd like to take a peek under the backcover of this particular coffee table book because, like we said, we're experts. But if Coco's butt isn't in there, we'll know it's a farce.
Make sure to pick up a copy on Nov. 22.