Is It Wrong to Train Your Toddler to Dagger?
We here at Cultist try to keep an open mind and we sure as shit don't like to preach. So it pains us to say that training your toddler to "dagger" like a half-naked midget on meth is just plain WRONG. Sure, it might be the most hilarious party trick ever invented by man. And yes, giving the little guy a Skerrit Bwoy hairdo is infinitely adorable. But, dude, it's wrong.
Now, don't you get all, "Fuck you! It's just a cute baby with rhythm! Don't kill his creative spirit." We're not saying it's wrong for any moral reason. It's wrong because daggering is dangerous. According to doctors in Jamaica, there's been a huge spike in fractured penises thanks to excessively violent dancing. And no one wants babies with broken dicks, now do they?
Check out the horrifically cute video after the cut.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Miami, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.