Humps and Bumps

If you like to exercise vicariously, get ready for Universe Weekend, taking over the Hyatt Regency this Thursday through Sunday. The hotel will be filled with pumped-up men and women who have devoted their lives to downing creatine shakes and picking up heavy stuff. The most pumped will compete in Muscle Mania, and yes, these men and women must pee in cups to prove they achieved their toned pecs and eerily stressed-out-looking faces via hard work alone. The less built but no less fit have four other competitions in which to flex, prance, and pose. The most strength-based, Fitness Universe, combines the skill of a sports competition and the glamour of a beauty pageant. We hope this means ladies killing in the squat thrust contest while keeping their lip gloss and tiara in place. Next is Figure Universe, for women with slightly muscular bodies (i.e., they’ve pumped enough iron to pull off the tickets-to-the-gun-show biceps flex but not so much that they’ve depleted their cleavage). For ladies with toned waists but not six-pack abs, there’s the Ms. Bikini competition. And last, men and women older than 16 will show off their stunning looks, athletic builds, and good mental health (part of the official judging criteria) in Model Universe. Registration begins Thursday, and competitions run through Sunday.
June 16-19, 8 a.m., 2011


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