George Clooney's got a lot going on lately. His latest film, Gravity, is nominated for a whole slew of Oscars. His next, The Monuments Men, releases in theaters next month. He's also in filming for Brad Pitt's movie Tomorrowland, which according to the actor involves being suspended dozens of feet in the air from wires at all times. And because there's a philanthropist behind that weathered, foxy facade, he's also drumming up support for the Satellite Sentinel project, which "leverages satellite imagery to document evidence of crimes against humanity."
He took to Reddit yesterday to discuss it all. But the most interesting parts of his responses to Redditors' questions weren't about any of the above. They were about the things we all care about: celebrity antics, Quentin Tarantino, and Batman's nipples.
9. Quentin Tarantino directed an episode of ER.
That, according to Clooney, is how the two first met, and how Clooney came to star in From Dusk til Dawn. "I was playing a pediatrician on a hospital show and all of a sudden I get to murder people? I thought that was pretty great," he says.
8. He's an amateur Jimmy Choo.
Asked what his hobbies are, Clooney didn't say "sex with beautiful women" or "basketball with Leonardo DiCaprio" or "making my eyes twinkle for hours at a time." He said, "I'm a cobbler, I like to make shoes." Wait, he's joking, right?
7. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler better watch their backs.
Clooney claims he's not mad at the two for their epic Golden Globes takedown of his dating history. But then he threw in a threat: "You know I got really good by Tina and Amy the other day and I'm working on getting them back in a big way."
6. The Jolie-Pitt kids aren't safe, either.
When a Brad Pitt prank made Clooney look like a diva on the set of Ocean's 12, the silver fox threatened to retaliate. Pitt's response, according to Clooney, was "Please don't harm my children." Which makes you wonder: what kind of person inspires a reaction like that in the first place? Is Clooney secretly a serial killer?
5. He regrets playing Batman. We think.
Here's Clooney's full statement on his widely mocked turn as the caped crusader: "It's a funny thing, you've got to remember that when you're doing a movie, a lot of times you're spending 4 or 5 months on set and sometimes you're making really good friends and sometimes not. Some of the best films have been the least fun experiences and some of the worst, I've made lifelong friends out of it. It's the kind of thing where the memory of the film is very different than how it was reviewed, because it's months out of your life and you end up making close friends or having great experience on films that don't necessarily work. And that's a tricky thing to come to terms with."
That was in response to the question, "Do you ever regret playing Batman?" The answer is, uh, vague. But later in the discussion, he clears things up a bit:
"Well I wasn't thrilled with the nipples on the batsuit. You know that's not something you really think about when you're putting it on. You figure all batsuits have nipples and then you realize yours was really the first. Batman was just constantly cold I guess."
4. Dude can't sing for shit.
Clooney only looks like an old-time crooner. "I remember the Coen brothers assumed I could sing," Clooney explained. "I kind of assumed I could too. I went into the studio with T Bone Burnett and the Coen brothers and sang my version of Man of Constant Sorrow and they were all looking down at the ground and kind of shaking their heads and they play it back and it's just terrible."
3. CLOONEY MULLET.
Never dare Reddit to find embarrassing clips of you on the Internet. Reddit will succeed.
2. Sandra Bullock's a boozehound.
"It's tricky cause Sandy drinks so much that oftentimes it's just hard to keep her upright," Clooney joked in response to a question about Gravity. "Sandy is exactly what she appears on screen, an incredibly charming woman who's really just fun to hang out with. Very smart and centered, even though she does drink a lot." Fine, he's probably joking, but we'd rather believe Party Girl Sandy is real.
1. Clooney has Bieber fever.
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The actor pointed out that making movies doesn't require the support of a major studio the way it used to, saying "That's how we have artists like Justin Bieber. The world is better for it now." Um, have you seen the news lately, bro?
Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.
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