If you have caught even one minute of Bravo's TV programming in the last month, you've probably seen ads for Gallery Girls. They're running about 100,000 times a day. Even your DVR can't ignore it -- miniature versions of the ladies occasionally pop onto the screen during your normal programming.
Ordinarily, that would be annoying. But there are two Miami girls featured in the show, so we had to give it a try. (Especially because our interview with Amy Poliakoff has already stirred up some drama between her fellow 305er Liz Margulies, well before the show has premiered.)
Once we had the pleasure of catching the premiere episode, a part of us realized we would never get that hour of our life back. And another part of us was glad about it.
We aren't sure this show will blow up Real Housewives style, but it sure is getting a lot of buzz. Everyone from Allure to Life & Style is wanting to chat with these ladies. But before you yourself gives the Gallery Girls a chance, be warned: You are going to love it and hate it all at the same time. Emotional roller coaster, here we go.
An Inside Look at the Art World
With the art world here in the Magic City officially blowing up, it can't hurt to see how New Yorkers have been doing it for decades. On Gallery Girls, you won't get any exclusive access to the all exclusive scene from the girls themselves -- but you will from their bosses.
Kerri Lisa Kills It
If you are going to identify with one girl on this show, it will be Kerri. She is just a Long Island girl working her ass off trying to pay some bills. We can relate. Kerri might show up to the first day of her internship looking like a high class hooker, but we're hoping this is just the beginning of her Pretty Woman-style career trajectory.
Meet Kerri Lisa
Wasted Bougie Snobs
Being in the physical presence of a wasted bougie snob? Annoying. Watching one on TV? That's more our cup of tea. Not 30 minutes into the program, Amy announces at a very fancy art dinner party that she is, and we quote, "fucking inebriated." That's our Miami girl for ya!
Made in Dade Ladies
There are not one, but two Miami women attempting to take over the New York art world on this show. You've gotta support your local ladies -- especially because they're not doing it for each other. It's obvious they genuinely hate one another. We mean,
nothing says true friendship like when Liz dubs Amy (someone she has known since childhood) a "certified ass
If you're a born-and-raised Miamian, there is a good chance you know her. If not, you've certainly heard of Marty Margulies, the multi-millionaire turned art collector who also happens to be Liz' rich father. It's not that you are going to hate Liz, per se. But you are going to hate how much you want her life.
Liz & Her ATM that she also calls dad
The Voice (No, Not The Show)
As you watch the opening credits for Gallery Girls, listen for the line, "I want to own my own gallery" from Chantal. How a girl from Atlanta got the voice of a Valley girl on meth, we aren't sure. And that's pretty much just par for the course; almost all of these girls' voices sound much like nails on a chalkboard.
Ballin' on No Budget
There's nothing like watching the carefree lives of the one percent to cause instant jealousy. Maggie is living off a trust her grandfather set up for her when she was little. Can you even imagine a life like that? Yeah, neither can we.
All Black Brooklyn Girls -- Even in Miami Beach
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Brooklyn vs. Manhattan Crime
Most of the first episode is spent discussing the differences between these two boroughs. It's like Miami Beach vs. Midtown, but much more obnoxious. For the record, we're Team Brooklyn -- they wear black, love to drink and seem to roll with the attitude of "we don't give a fuck."