Childhood should be a time of innocence, joy, and wonder. But for generations, toy-makers have tortured impressionable children with the likes of terrifying playthings that would strike fear into the heart of Chuck Norris himself.
One such toy, the Furby, is making a modern-day return to toy-store shelves. (We weep for children everywhere.)
In honor of the furry little freak's plan to creep out a whole new generation of wee ones, we've procured a collection of the scariest toys from our childhoods that would make even Superman shudder.
A ginger troll is scariest of all.
5. Troll dolls
Looking at the twisted faces of these fugly little freaks, we can't help but wonder: What were we thinking? People collected these leprechaun-like monsters? They gave 'em to their kids? Burn 'em. Burn 'em all.
4. Baby Alive
Any piece of plastic that eats and poops presents a serious problem. For us, the theme song brought back lots of memories. Scary, scary memories.
3. Teddy Ruxpin
A reanimated bear corpse isn't quite what most kids had in mind on Christmas morning. This storytelling creeper led to countless crying fits by terrified children. It's alive, all right.
Spawn of Satan.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
2. Preggers Barbie
So scary it was pulled from
They look pissed.
1. The original Furby
Fuzzy little gremlins of sorts, Furbies were straight out of any AI horror story. They talked and learned? Hello! Didn't Skynet teach us anything about the perils of artificial intelligence? Furbies were just asking for Armageddon.
We're still awaiting the days when the discarded bunch rises up from thrift-store discount bins to reap revenge on an unsuspecting public. Perhaps the time is now.