From Ricky Martin to Betty White: Celebrity Books Worth Your Time
Still reeling from the celebrity parade at last week's Miami Book Fair? Having Bush, Meghan McCain, John Waters, Patti Smith, etc. in town really got us jones'n for more literature about how the famous half lives. And there's no need to wait until Miami Dade College organizes another fair 12 months from now. Visit your local Books & Books to pick up these great celebrity reads.
Sure, we're a little annoyed by the endless list of things celebs pimp: perfumes, iPhone apps, clothing lines, fitness videos, vodkas. But sometimes celebutantes burn some actual brain power and put pen to paper to write a delicious memoir about their funked-up lives. (Or they pay someone to do it for them. Ah, to be stinking rich). And with everyone from The Situation to President Obama penning tomes, it can be hard to choose which is actually worth a read. Here are some favorites, including this one (right) by that handsome ex-Menudo-er.
Me: Written by Ricky Martin, this book literally just hit the stores. Everyone knows and loves him, especially us Latinos (and wannabes) here in Miami because can anyone say they haven't shaken their bon bon to Livin' la Vida Loca? The book has everything from his days in Menudo to struggling with his sexuality all the way up to last March when he finally came out as a "fortunate homosexual man." In times like these, when people might be telling LGBT youth to go run and hide, Me will be sort of a mentoring experience that will make your inner rainbow flag fly. And take a look at the book cover: ay dios mio! Muy, muy caliente!
Anything by Chelsea Handler: She has her hilarious late night show Chelsea Lately, was the most recent host of the Video Music Awards on MTV, and is rumored to be dating 50 Cent. But she really hit the map when her first book, My Horizontal Life: A Collection Of One-Night Stands, hit the bookstores in 2005. Not only does it make you feel not so bad about all your lovers that you never saw again post-penetration, but with lines like "would have had to be the size of the Lincoln Tunnel to accommodate that thing," when discussing her first chocolate-man conquest, it will make you lose your shit. And unlike most authors whose follow-ups are usually mediocre at best, her second and third books, Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea and Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang are equally as funny as the first.
Elizabeth Taylor: My Love Affair With Jewelry: For any straight man reading this, we encourage you to skip to the next paragraph. Mainly because this book is for the girls and the gays only. It's one of the most feminine and fabulous books that you will ever have in your hands. As one of the biggest beauty icons of our time, to be able to look at her jewelry is breathtaking and to have her discuss some of the juiciest details of her multiple marriages? To die for. Who should we read this book? Well, any bitch who loves herself some beads or bangles because Taylor's jewels are amazing. Also, any woman who is looking for a little, "Fuck it, I don't need a man!" mentality. She went through some great men, and although she didn't find true love, she got some great diamonds out of it.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents Earth (the Book): A Visitor's Guide to the Human Race: First off, saying a book by Jon Stewart is funny is pretty fucking obvious. Even if you have just caught five minutes of The Daily Show in your life, you can easily see the man is hilarious (and sexy if we must say.) But his book is somehow funnier than he is. This page-turner isn't going to change your life and sure as hell isn't going to inspire you to do anything special, but it will give you a chuckle. It's written as if aliens stopped by our visitors bureau and picked up a brochure of where the hell they are. It's kinda like if the Discovery Channel and your eighth grade textbook had a baby.
Here We Go Again: My Life In Television: Betty White wrote this book. Do we really need to keep going? Okay, for you nonbelievers, we will explain to you why we are obsessed with this book. To start, one of our personal heroes wrote it. And most importantly, to get a firsthand look at one of the coolest careers in Hollywood is hands-down fascinating. I mean, she has starred in some of the best shows in history (Mary Tyler Moore and The Golden Girls,) and has been in the business for over 60 years. So anyone looking for a little advice of how to make it, Betty will give it to you. She doesn't hold back on her addiction to work and her willingness to fill in whenever she is needed. It's kind of like Betty is talking to you like an old friend, which is probably why we liked it so much -- to have Betty as a BFF is a freaking dream.
Get the Arts & Culture Newsletter
Find out about arts and culture events in Miami and offers you won't hear about anywhere else.