Forget Flour-Bombing: Five Other Things We'd Like to Fling at Celebrities
Right-wing whack jobs and fame whores alike have been the target of a rash of "bombings" by antsy activists as of late. Glitter bombs, an oh-so-faaaabulous form of warfare, are generally reserved for anti-LGBT politicians, while flour bombings have become a favorite weapon of choice against callous and overexposed celebs.
But aren't these tactics just a little too last week? Seriously, does Mitt Romney really care about some glitter in his 'do? (Actually, he may like it more than he admits) And we doubt Kim Kardashian really cried over getting dusted with a white substance -- something with which we suspect she's familiar. Jon Stewart said it best: "[Glitter bombs are] more clever than a pie in the face, but less clever than something actually clever."
It's time to reinvent the art of the dramatic attack. Here are a few new and improved "bombings" we'd like to see the anti-establishment community embrace.
Dirty Dog Bombings
The humble hot dog with the works: relish, ketchup,
mustard, and preferably sauerkraut -- now that's a weineriffic weapon. This
bombing does double duty, with two separate but equally apt
First, it's a meal for many an almost-anorexic model or actress. Hell, they might
even thank you if you hit 'em square in the piehole. We believe Angelina
Jolie might be in the market for a frank bombing or three.
Secondly, hot dogs make for great sexual innuendos, especially if you're confronting anti-gay male politicians. They'll strike
fear in their heart with their own phallic nature. And again, the "victims" might
even thank you once they've deep-throated a delicious, all-beef
foot-long. Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney are two dudes ripe for the
Yes, the douchebag -- everyone's favorite, frequently
referenced feminine hygiene product. Though it's mostly used as an insult to describe boorish, sexist bros, let's not forget that you can still pick up the original version at any CVS. Shouldn't the nitwits of the male sex be
introduced to the real deal? What better way to tell a man how you feel
than a nice, full, bag of douche square in the face? John Mayer and The
Situation are prime candidates for a drive-by douchebagging.Next Page
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