Five Things to Shout at Miami During a Nice Intervention
Improv Everywhere, a group of pranksters bringing "chaos and joy" into the world, are known for taking wacky performances to and under the streets of New York City. They're the ones who take their drawers off annually on the No Pants Subway Ride. Part of the Guggenheim's stillspotting New York, these guys recently asked people to shout "something nice" in the middle of Union Square in order to foster a gentler, kinder NYC (video after jump). The Village Voice's Jen Doll thought the whole thing was a little annoying, and you know, it does come off a little lame. Compliments can be kind of off-putting and awkward. There is
generally time and a place for them, like when someone's trying to get
in your pants or when you get a new haircut that doesn't suck.
In the spirit of the classic Golden Girls episode when Dorothy and Rose sing "Miami Is Nice" and Improve Everywhere, we'd offer five things to shout at Miami during a nice intervention. Everyone's always dissing on South Florida, "It's too hot" or "I hate it
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here." This city needs a little flattering. Let's see if Miami likes
the attention or not.
5. "Sweet Beaches!"
Miami, baby, you know you've got the greatest beaches. There's like
no other place in North America where the water is as warm and clear as
here. It's like the Caribbean, but with slightly less poverty. And look
at those manageable waves. No wonder all the Euros come here and take
their clothes off for you, you're fab-u-lous.
4. "Banging Art Scene!"
Everyone used to talk about your boobs, Miami. But nowadays, it's like those melons on your chests don't even exist. Everyone's checking out Wynwood instead. Look at that graffiti and those cute little bars. Such a turn on to the
international art community. You go, Miami, getting all intellectual and
3. "Killer Everglades, Miami! Nicely Done!"
Dude. Killer. Some people might think the Everglades are ugly and say outloud, obnoxiously, "I prefer the mountains." But not us, mama. We love your Everglades. Those long stretches of grass, cypress forests... Who needs flamingos when you've got those huge prehistoric monster alligators? You know you can eat them -- they taste like chicken. Dark meat, but like chicken. Very exotic.
2. "Cool Winters, Bro!"
Bro, yesss on the winters. Your summers are a little oppressive, but man,
with winter, boom! When Boston cousins are shivering their tushies off,
we're deliciously warm. We've got our bathing suits on and maybe a light
sweater. You are so good in the winter. So. Good. Can we say meow?
1. "Nice Foliage, Hubba Hubba!"
It's so green down here. You've got those bougainvilleas, hibiscus,
jasmine. It's like all of you is on big botanical garden, lush and
sensual. There's nothing like the soft purr of palm tree fronds waving in the salty ocean breeze. Magical. Just like you.
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