God damn it's hot. So hot that the big guy upstairs doesn't mind us using blasphemy to describe the weather lately -- he's even been going around Miami saying "how bout that heat" lately. And it's that Miami hot. That utterly uncomfortable sticky kinda heat that can only be compared to a 300-lb cell mate whispering sweet nothings in your ear type-of-hot.
And there's nothing to be done about it, except sweat. Some dopes named Phoenix the sweatiest city in American history a couple years back. But that's a dry desert heat in Arizona. We have the humidity. This makes us experts in sweat. If you're smart, you'll stay indoors and watch movies. And what's better than watching other people sweat when you are sipping on a brewski or iced tea? If you feel a movie list coming on, you've been paying attention. Check out the sweatiest scenes in film history.
5. Albert Brooks in Broadcast News
It's a horrifyingly embarrassing scene in a great movie. Wannabe anchor Albert
Brooks gets his one shot at anchoring the weekend end news and sweats
his way through it. It is as funny as it is uncomfortable. They just don't
make hair like they used to.
4. Tony Montana and hoods in Scarface (NSFW)
Greasy isn't the same as sweaty, but Scarface had sweat by the gallons.
And getting chain-sawed in half will make anybody sweat (check out the
pit stains on the guys who gets cut), as will having a gun in your face
like Tony did in this brutally graphic scene. Manolo, where were you
man? Stop messin' with the ladies.
3. Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible
Hate to admit it, but we enjoyed Mission Impossible with Tom Cruise and
that scene where they broke into CIA headquarters for the noclist.
Pretty great. Check it out here. The
only thing we can't figure is how he caught that sweat drop if he was
like an inch away from the ground.
Even Tom Cruise's sweat is crazy.
2. Bill Duke in Predator
Any movies set in a jungle will make you feel hot and sweaty. But get a
load of Mac (Bill Duke) ruminating about his lost pal. Later in the
movie he tries shaving with a rusty blade and no shaving cream.
1. Robert Hayes in Airplane
Surely we can't be serious about having Airplane's Robert Hayes scene as
the sweatiest of all time! Damn straight, and don't call us Shirley.
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Flying combat missions over Marcho Grande will do weird things to a man.