Five Signs Your Parents Might Be Smoking Weed
The Office of National Drug policy describes marijuana as a "mixture of dried, shredded leaves, stems, seeds and flowers of the hemp plant." Stems and seeds, man? A more accurate description would've been rip-off; hood weed doesn't equal good weed, silly stoner.
In 2009, Gallup surveyed 1,013 American adults, ages 18 and older, and concluded that 44 percent of Americans are in favor of legalizing marijuana. Of the 44 percent in favor, 45 percent were between the ages 50-64, a demographic that only four years prior had eight percent less supporters.
In other words, you and your parents may have more in common than you think. Here are a few signs Mom and Pop might be smoking the wacky tabaccy behind your back.
1. What's on the TiVo
What do stoners watch?
Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, umm, we forget what else but take the
DVR for a spin next time you and your stoner friends smoke a bowl. If
you see a lot of nature documentaries or episodes of "How it's Made,"
your parents are smoking pot. Anything you can watch without sound is a
2. Shhh, I'm sleeping
hardest thing for someone under the influence of pot -- so we hear -- is to
fly under the radar. When the old man wants to mellow at 2 a.m. by
synching Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd's "The Wall," he's definitely not
keeping a low profile; he's probably smoking grass.
3. Midnight Munchies
Jane is the secret force behind some of the greatest food we eat. Who
would've thought that peanut butter and Cinnamon Toast Crunch stuffed
inside a pita pocket lined with Oscar Mayer deli meat would be so
delicious? For years, you were the only one in the house eating this
stoney bologna. But when mom comes back from Costco with four
industrial size boxes of cereal and three-pounds of cold cuts,
something's definitely up.
4. Marley Fest Tickets for the Whole Family
is about the only genre of music that parents and kids can enjoy
together. Picture your parents pulling up the driveway in a Volkswagen
microbus and surprising you by yelling, "We're going to Marley Fest!"
Shit's about to get real foggy, real quick.
5. Can you make a cool playlist for my iPod?
Everyone knows cool
is synonymous with chill, and chill is code for getting high. When a
parent asks you to load your music onto their iPod, it's probably for a
late-night sesh and they're probably already too high to do it themselves.
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