Five Reasons Harry Potter Is Going to Need Serious Therapy
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 is being released this Friday. The franchise is coming to an end, but it's going out with a bang. People camped out in London last week and at Lincoln Center in New York for today's premiere.
Now that the series is finishing, we have to wonder what will become of Harry in his old age. He has to be messed up after all of the insane things he went through. Voldemort had been plotting his murder while Harry was still in the womb, and his aunt and uncle borderline abuse him as a child. But we think that are some far more twisted reasons buried in the series. Here are five reasons Harry Potter is going to need serious therapy:
5. He marries a girl who is just like his mom.
Talk about an Oedipal complex. Both Lily Potter and Ginny Weasley had
red hair, were brilliant witches and had boys tripping over themselves
to date them. Worse, Harry hardly remembers him mom, We don't care how good of a catch Ginny is, this is too
4. He sees dead people.
To be fair, they aren't figments of his imagination. He uses the
resurrection stone to see his parents, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. And
he sees Dumbledore when he's caught in limbo. He also wants to hear his last memories of his mom, just before she dies, in Prisoner of Azkaban. But dead people are dead
people. We can just imagine how this would go down with a therapist -
"So, errr, I talked to my parents, but they were dead. But they were
really there, I swear!"
3. Multiple personality disorder
Harry could see and feel what Voldemort was experiencing for a while
there. Imagine how that would screw you up. And then when the visions
finally went away, we bet he was confused. Just one person in his head
must have gotten awfully lonely. We wonder if you can get treatment for missing
your other personalities?
2. Snakes talk to him.
Snakes are creepy enough to begin with. But when they talk to you, and worse, when you answer back, they're downright terrifying. What's more, Harry is the only one beside Voldemort who can understand them. Here's another one we can't imagine the therapist buying. "No, doc, the snakes actually talk to me!"
1. "I can touch you now" - Lord Voldemort
By far the creepiest line in the whole series, Voldemort is ecstatic that he can finally touch Harry. In context, it's because he used Harry's blood for a sacrifice so that he could touch him without being harm. But out of context, oh god. Just imagine waking up in the middle of the night from some horrible night terror, Voldemort stroking your face with his long, white fingers. "I can touch you now..."
Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.
Get the Arts Newsletter
Weekly information on all the on goings in the art and event world. Find out what the hot trends are and what's happening this week in our Arts newsletter. Coming Soon.