Five Reasons Beauty Pageants Suck and Need to Go Away for Good

Beauty pageants attract controversy like their contestants flock to tiaras. Just this week all of England was in an uproar about a Muslim woman vying to represent Britain in the Miss Universe competition. Don't get us wrong, we're all for Muslim ladies ditching their burkas and walking proud - in fact Miss USA 2010 is a Muslim. The bigger problem is beauty pageants being in the news, yet again.

We know pageants are big business. We know parents live vicariously (and poorly) through their young pageant children. And we know these contests are the last refuge of B actors and has-been celebrities.  But with reality TV and social media tipping the karmic scales to ruination, it's time to ditch a vestige of our past that should never have seen the twenty-first century. Need more convincing? Here are five reasons beauty pageants have to go, and go right now.

5. Furthering Stereotypes

The only thing worse than a stereotype is when you see the real

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life embodiment of one. It sets everybody back. This especially applies to beauty

queens. They're supposed to be dumb, right? We're sure most of these

ladies have something going on upstairs but then you get a Miss Teen

South Carolina in 2007 and not even Liz Lemon could undo the damage.

Stop the cycle. End pageants.


4. Bad Movies, Bad TV
 Worse than beauty pageants are film or television

depictions of beauty pageants. From Toddlers and Tiaras, Drop Dead

Gorgeous to Sandra Bullock's Miss Congeniality and To Wong Foo, Thanks

for Everything! Julie Newmar, if the central theme of a movie or show

has to do with pageants then nobody wins . The notable exception is

Little Miss Sunshine.

3. Kid's Beauty Pageants

All beauty pageants are heinous, but we've got a special place of hate

in our hearts for kid's pageants. Let's put it this way. If To Catch a

Predator's Chris Hansen walked into one of the pageants, half the crowd

would scram for the exits and the other half would immediately utter

something like, "I wasn't going to do anything."  

2. Hypocrisy

The best (or worst) reason pageants have to go is the hypocrisy that

surrounds them. Just this year Ms. Weston was stripped of her title

because she won a different contest, Ms. Exxxotica, earlier in her life.

New Times devoted an entire feature to it. Remember Miss California in 2009 and her stance against gay

marriage? And don't forget Vanessa Williams in the 1980s. She was

dethroned for the very reason she won - she was a certifiable hottie.

But somehow it wasn't ok that naked pictures were taken of her that eventually wound up in Penthouse. Which brings us to our last point...

1. Objectification of Women

Duh! Of course it's wrong to gawk at women and drool over them like

they're prized cattle. Plus, if you're going to do it, there are much

better ways of going about it. Again, we'll spell it out for you --

P-O-R-N!

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