Five Perfectly Valid Reasons to Make Out With a Tree at Ultra Music Festival

Yesterday, Riptide brought you video of a girl at Ultra who appeared to have, um, feelings for a tree. Strong feelings. Sexy feelings. Feelings of, dare we say, love.

Then Internet commenters took this beautiful moment of passion and turned it into something ugly. We know, we were shocked, too.

Sure, the girl may have been on drugs. But there are plenty of other, perfectly valid reasons she may have been rubbing up on that trunk so lustily. And aren't we innocent until proven guilty? This is still America, isn't it?

Extreme Environmentalism
As some readers pointed out, perhaps this is just an extreme example of "tree-hugging." And can you blame her? Miami is a beautiful place, after all, with its beaches and its sunshine and, yes, its gorgeous, slender palm trees fluttering seductively in the breeze. If you were truly committed to reversing global warming, maybe you'd be showing nature some love, too.

Performance Art
Maybe it's not about the girl kissing the tree, man. Maybe it's about all of us watching the girl kissing the tree -- like, the statement that we, as a society, are making, about ourselves and our culture, when we watch the girl kissing the tree, and laugh at the girl kissing the tree, and cheer for the girl kissing the tree. Did you ever think of that, man? That maybe the joke is, like, on us? Dude.

Sponsor Content


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >