Five People Whose Lives Were Ruined by Porn

Once upon a time, there was a society that looked down on people like the spoiled daughter of OJ Simpson's defense attorney pocketing $5 million in a "settlement" with Vivid Entertainment after a golden shower sex tape starring herself was self-released.

But not modern society! Now we reward such desperate acts in the name of fame with endless reality shows, magazine covers, responding positively to marketing endorsements, and propelling a bimbo who doesn't do anything more than "be sexy for a living" to a status in which young girls look up to her.  Clap, clap society. Job, well done.

And we know, the Kardashians' shows are sooooo addictive. But so is porn. So, here's five celebrities whose lives were ruined by adult films -- just in time for National Masturbation Month!

1. Paul Reubens aka Pee-Wee Herman
As most know, Pee-Wee pulled out his wee-wee while watching a bunch of mekalekahi-mecahiney-hoes get it on at an adult theater in Sarasota, Florida. Unfortunately, the secret word for that particular day back in 1991 was "detective" and after Reubens's arrest, most thought Pee-Wee's career would be finished. And after years of only seeing Reubens in small parts in movies like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Blow,  Reubens's fate seemed to be sealed.

But thanks to shameless fame-whores like Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan who have taught society that flashing your genitalia can be a savvy PR move, Reubens's career is back on the mend with his recent Pee-wee Herman Stage Show: The Return on Broadway. Thanks sluts!

Upcoming Events

2. Linda Lovelace
There's no denying that once Linda Susan Boreman met husband Chuck Traynor, and was apparently forced at gunpoint to became Linda Lovelace, her life went to the dogs. Literally, her first film was a called Dog Fucker and soon after came 1972's Deep Throat making her porn moniker the first in history to become a household name thanks to mainstream popularity and a New York Times article.

Considering the humiliation and torture Boreman had to endure from her husband -- beatings, gang-rape, forced prostitution, and mental abuse -- it's no shock that she eventually became a strong advocate for the feminist anti-pornography movement alongside Andrea Dworkin, Catharine MacKinnon, and Gloria Steinem.

3. Gary Glitter
You know that song, "Rock and Roll (Part Two)" ? You know, that song you just love to hear at every American sporting event know to mankind whenever there's a need for celebration? Lyrically, it only has one word but is instantly recognizable -- dun, dun HEY! dun-nun-nun-nun dun, dun HEY! Well, that song that's so deeply intertwined with Americana was written by some British glam rock dude named Gary Glitter who not only owned 30 glitter suits and 50 pairs of silver platform boots, but he also owned a whole bunch of kiddie porn. Yup. That's about as wholesome as fucking an apple pie in your parents' kitchen.

Basically back in 1997, when Glitter took in his laptop in for repair, the technician found a thousands of images of children doing things children should only do in the privacy of their own bedrooms with the blanketed excuse that they're playing "doctor." The media caught wind and took the glimmer out of his sparkle. And although getting his scene cut from The Spice Girl Movie soon after the kid porn debacle was probably epically disappointing, it wasn't as bad as being sentenced to four months imprisonment and listed as a sex offender in the UK in 1999. What came after was an arrest in 2005 for molesting two underaged girls, aged 10 and 11, at his home in Vũng Tàu, Vietnam and another arrest in 2006 for committing obscene acts with minors.

4. Peter Cook (ex-husband of model Christie Brinkley)
During the first day of Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook's divorce trail, it was soon realized that Mr. Cook had a hyperactive cock. Under oath, Cook admitted that he habitually ogles online pornography, masturbates in front of strangers via a Web cam, and even had hired an 18 year old he met at a toy sore, three years prior when she was 15, as a clerk at his architecture firm solely with the intent of sexing her up his office. We're not sure what Cook's up to nowadays but after that level of public humiliation, he'll never be able to shake his rep as a porn-obsessed perv.

5. Laurence Fishburne
Two words: Montana Fishburne. Or better yet, Chippie D. After Cowboy Curtis's (is Pee-Wee's Playhouse cursed?) baby-girl decided to give porn a whirl, Father Fishburne was reportedly, "very hurt" by his daughter's decision. He eventually disowned her, which, even to us cynics, is super sad. When Montana was asked why she eventually dropped the stage name Chippie D. and released Montana Fishburne: An A-List Daughter Makes her XXX Debut with Vivid Entertainment in August 2010, her response was:

I view making this movie as an important first step in my career ... I've watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape by Vivid.

Thanks again, sluts!

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami


Sponsor Content

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send:

Newsletters

All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >