Each week, Miami dating expert Nikki Novo gives us advice on finding love in this hopeless place. Today: Five reasons to stay optimistic about Miami's dating scene.
I admit it: Like many other Miamians, for a long time I was under the impression that in order to find a suitable mate, I'd have to get out of town. Anyone who has been single in the Magic City long enough can sympathize with our pond's slim pickings.
I was tired of meeting the same immature, shady (and badly dressed) guy over and over again. Why hadn't it happened for me? I knew there were other people out there who would find each other, get married, buy a house in Coral Gables or Belle Meade, and create 2.5 children. I knew this because I would see them on Facebook. When would it be my turn?
And then I thought: Could I be the problem?
After some soul-searching, I decided to try a new approach to dating. This time, I would check my baggage at the door and look at the bright side of Miami. Eventually, I began to realize how much my assumptions, judgments, and insecurities were holding me down. I came to understand, "It's not you, Miami. It's me."
Sure, Miami might have a bad rep. For starters, the lifestyle in this city doesn't exactly breed or attract "datable" material. Between our nightlife scene and warm weather, the city can be a magnet for barely dressed lost souls in search of a good time rather than a committed relationship.
But with all that transient activity, the Latin culture, and sunshine come some really great opportunities for dating. You just have to believe it to see it. Not convinced? Read on, and I'll show you that love is closer than you think -- even somewhere within the 305 (and 786) area code.
1. People Come From All Over
All right, so maybe it's not the best idea to fall in love with the 28-year-old guy from Brussels traveling here during Ultra for a balls-against-the-wall weekend. But that's just one scenario. With its burgeoning arts scene and a hand in the ever-growing tech startup culture, Miami attracts more than just those looking for a good time.
Imagine if you lived in some sad small town where couponing was the thing to do. You'd have no shot at newcomers. What you see is what you get in those towns. But, hello, you live in Miami! People love to come here and stay. There's no need to go out looking for newbies -- they flock to us all the time. So it's untrue that there are no datable men in this city. We get imports all the time. How can we make that assumption when the pool of pickings is constantly reinventing itself? Drop that loser train of thought and open your eyes to the abundance. And maybe learn a new language while you're at it.
2. There's So Much Going On
Have you checked out the Miami New Times calendar lately? There is so much going on in this city at all times. And there is truly something for everybody. You can attend a yoga paddleboarding class one morning, and hit up a Poetry Is Dead parade in the afternoon.
This kind of social calendar will undoubtedly up your chances of meeting new people. Plus, if you commit to taking an active role in discovering activities that make you happy, your inner coolness will come out and, in turn, attract loads of eligible bachelors (and some not-so-eligible, but that's just part of it). Cool people want to be around cool people. Participate in the things that make you feel good about yourself. It's that simple.
3. There's Fort Lauderdale Too
When you're disenchanted with the scene down here, just remember: There's a whole new pool of dating prospects living, working, and partying just a few minutes north in Fort Lauderdale. All you have to do is take a little drive. Enjoy the beaches, bars, and culture spots, which are way different from Miami's but just as lively. How many people have two cities to choose from? No more excuses.
4. The Burbs Are Full of Latins Looking to Procreate
Transplants to our city might think we're a little out of whack. But the reality is, for the most part, transplants hang out with other transplants, while Miami kids hang out with other Miami kids. And honestly, the incestuous behavior is boring. Let's comingle, shall we?
Visit Fox's Lounge in South Miami one night and you'll meet this local breed. If you're not one of us, it might be hard to penetrate our circles. But we're everywhere, and despite popular belief, we're welcoming and down for a good time. The best part about us: We were groomed to procreate!
So take a break from the über-trendy South Beach bar, and instead make friends with your born-and-raised Miami officemate. She'll know where to find us. And if you're a native, well, just go to the Standard Miami Beach for some new blood.
5. Sunlight Makes Happy People
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Listen, this isn't Detroit, where people have to buy special lights to prevent seasonal affective disorder (SAD). The vitamin D in Miami is free. Let's be thankful for that.
Sure, it's hot, humid, and rainy at times. But if you open your eyes and look at this landscape, you'll begin to see the bright side of Miami.
I apologize in advance for the self-help verbiage I'm about to use, but it's true: The key is to live your life in a state of abundance rather than lack. Let's stop talking about what Miami doesn't have and the type of people it falls short of. Instead, be the person you think Miami should have more of. Change begins with you and your beliefs -- no passport required for that journey.