Five Alternate Uses For Jersey Shore's The Situation's New Tanning Spray
Miami Beach is home to plenty of A-listers: Lil Wayne, Missy Elliot, Lenny Kravitz, Kelly Rowland and oh, so many more. But unluckily -- at least for residents of the 33139 area code -- the beach just got another celebrity neighbor.
Ready the South Beach welcome wagon. It's time to say hello to Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. He's back in Miami -- this time, to shill his disturbingly orange-complected lifestyle.
As you may remember, "The Situation" and his Jersey Shore cast called Miami Beach home back in 2010 when they brought the second season to South Florida. And we guess he loved it so much that he took that hard-earned reality money and bought himself a home. Until now, he hasn't been able to enjoy his Miami casa due to pressing matters elsewhere: running his head into walls in Italy, and "smooshing" in New Jersey. But now that he's a business partner in Boca Tan, we're guessing he will now spend a good amount of his time on the streets of South Florida.
Well, isn't that great news for us.
If you haven't seen him being pulled over in his red Ferrari yet, just keep your eyes peeled; sightings happen pretty frequently. Maybe you'll see The Sitch speeding off to his new office at Boca Tan to make terrific videos like this one:
GEORGE LOPEZ - #THATSTRUE COMEDY TOUR
TicketsSat., Sep. 3, 8:00pm
Just the Funny Mainstage Show
TicketsSat., Sep. 3, 9:00pm
Just the Funny - After Hours
TicketsSat., Sep. 3, 11:00pm
Improv Acting 1 - Basic Scenework
TicketsTue., Sep. 6, 7:30pm
La Gaviota Productions & CCEM Present: La Calle Al Final Del Mundo
TicketsThu., Sep. 8, 8:30pm
This is not a joke: A business is actually making The Situation the face of its product. And while spray tanning isn't our thing, we do have a few ideas about what we could do with it if we got our hands on a bottle:
White Elephant Gift: You know when you have to bring a funny gift to your office party? Well, forget the Snuggie or Pajama Jeans. Your cubicle mate won't know what to do with themselves with a bottle of this situation.
Pepper Spray: Ladies, you need to stay safe in the mean streets of Miami. Nothing will scare off an attacker like whipping out a bottle of Mike Sorrentino. Actually, you might turn from victim to criminal when he runs off screaming in fear of what you just brought out of your purse.
The Best Prank Ever: Looking to prank your boy? Want to get back an ex boyfriend? Put a bottle of that in his bathroom -- ideally right before his boss/new girlfriend/anyone else whose respect he cherishes stops by.
Wynwood's Newest Graffiti Craze: If Wynwood is looking to bring some color to its graffiti-filled walls, may we suggest this spray? It's bright orange and looks a little like the people over at Boca Tan boiled an Oompa-Loompa and then bottled it up. It's perfect!
Dolphin Game Gear: The Miami Dolphins need our support more than ever. So, here is your game day attire to cheer them on: Teal shirt + cover your body in this spray. You'll be orange, teal, and ready to watch the Dolphins lose.
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