By Biblical standards, Kim Kardashian's sins are many. She rose to fame performing unholy acts on tape with Ray J. She's pridefully overexposed her life for years on E! reality shows. And she's carrying a baby out of wedlock, while still technically married to another man.
But that's all cool with Jesus, as long as Kardashian kicks a little attention his way.
That's the message preached by Texas pastor Ed Young, anyway. The leader of evangelical Fort Worth-area megachurch Fellowship Church devoted 30 whole minutes of a recent sermon to Kardashian, claiming that if Jesus were to speak to the reality star, he'd say, "Make me famous."
"What would Jesus say to Kim Kardashian? 'Make me famous,'" Young told his congregation, according to the Christian Post. "'If you're really going to be well-known, you have to make me known.'"
Young, who called Kardashian "an interesting personality," also said that the healing power of God's forgiveness makes that pesky sex tape a non-issue: "Your past doesn't determine your future."
But don't think the big guy in the sky's letting Kardashian off easy. In the same sermon, Young directly compares Kardashian to Satan himself:
"Think about the enemy. Think about the devil. Before the earth was created, he was right there beside God, giving Him glory, giving Him fame. When the devil then decided to try and usurp Him, and from there he was kicked out of heaven and took a third of the angels with him. It was about popularity. He didn't like the fact that God was getting it, while he wasn't. So in our fallenness, we have a certain freakiness about fame. We want to have followers, we want to have fame, we want to be part of the popular crowd."
The sermon's one in a series of "What Would Jesus Say To...?" sermons Young has planned. And Kardashian's not the only celebrity with Florida ties scheduled to get the holy treatment. In addition to Ellen Degeneres (yikes) and Lance Armstrong, The Miami Heat's own LeBron James will be the subject of one of Young's upcoming sermons.
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To him, we imagine Jesus could only say, "Damn, bro. I wish Dad had given me your skills."
Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.