Eight Best Places to Go Stoned in Miami
Photo by Yesenia Hernandez
There's been a lot of talk about weed lately. The whole state of Florida is alive with the promise of legal medical bud. We drive past billboards that just say "marijuana" like every day, and we couldn't be more stoked about it.
We've had plenty of practice, so when the vote comes in November followed by hopeful victory, we know just where to go to celebrate. If you're celebrating early in anticipation, consider heading over to one of these highly-enjoyable destinations. We tested them. They're good.
When you're high, things that are normally slightly impressive become astronomically intriguing. Take, for instance, Coral Castle. It really is a feat to turn a big rock into a monument of unrequited love, but to those in their right mind, it's just kind of interesting for a minute, and then maybe it loses its wonder. Smoke a big fat doobie before hitting the site, and you'll wander its prehistoric walls for hours as you try to understand just how such an accomplishment came to be, and what made that little girl leave her fiancé on their wedding day?
TicketsFri., Dec. 2, 11:00pm
The LIGHT Performance Art Series Exhibition
TicketsSat., Dec. 3, 4:00pm
The Nutcracker - Thomas Armour Youth Ballet
TicketsSat., Dec. 3, 7:00pm
Mario Cantone's Broadway Holiday
TicketsSat., Dec. 3, 8:00pm
Antonio Sanint & Alejandro Riano
TicketsSat., Dec. 3, 9:00pm
You know that scene in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas where Johnny Depp's character starts freaking out about giant lizards in the casino? This is going to be like that, except no lizards. Actually, you'll be just fine, but there will be tons of lights and sounds and fun ways to lose all your money, if you're into that sort of thing. The Casino is always bringing old favorite rock bands and rap stars to the stage, as well, and there's more than enough casino noms to go around.
6. Boat Tour of Star Island
We live in this beautiful tropical paradise and we hardly find the time to enjoy it. Smoke up and slow down, then hit one of the many sightseeing cruises Miami has to offer. We particularly think a cruise around Star Island would be fruitful, because your heightened imagination will love pretending you have a billion dollars and are on your way home. Maybe you'll even catch sight of Oprah.
Sure, it's obvious, but it's obvious for a reason. There's almost nothing cooler than getting stoned out of your mind, leaning back in a comfortable chair with some of your closest friends, and going on a visual and musical journey through Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon set to dancing lasers. They even sell snacks, but you're not supposed to eat inside the theater. Check their website for more details and upcoming shows, featuring the Doors, Radiohead and the Beatles, as well as regular old space planetarium radness.
Another childhood favorite turned awesome adult stoner hangout is Jungle Island, especially with that new water park addition. It's not a water park like a bunch of water slides and roller coasters, but more like a floating obstacle course. Trust us, it's more fun than you could ever imagine, but definitely play smart -- it's tricky. Test your limits and see if you can master this thing. Even if you're too weak to work your way up to the top of the watery mountain or make it across to the other side on that damn swing, you'll be laughing your ass off watching your friends try.
After all this water-parking and castle exploring, you're really going to work up a world-class hunger. Why not stuff your face at a world-class buffet? This quaint little brunch spot in the Gables will set you back about a bazillion calories, but it is well worth it. Named New Times' Best Buffet for 2014, they've got burgers, sushi, cake, ice cream, pizza, steak, tapas, salad, soups, waffles -- EVERYTHING. You won't be disappointed, and you won't be leaving hungry. It's the perfect end to any stoned adventure.
Whoever said being stoned meant you had to be stupid? Get a little culture in your while you're functioning below average levels. The architecture alone is mesmerizing, even if it is still under construction. If you haven't explored the park yet, we highly suggest checking it out. You can even bring your furry friends for a fun romp through the grass, or sit on the sand and watch the boats go by while you toke up another one.
This one may be seasonal, but that's just more of a reason to take advantage while you can. You may remember it as the neon-metropolis of family fun from your childhood, but Santa has so much more to give the adult weed smoker than you could ever imagine. Lose your mind on the thrilling rides, stuff your face with sugary carnival goodness, and stare in wonder and horror at sideshow attractions like the world's smallest lady. Play some games and win some prizes, or spend your money on some questionable merchandise from the local sellers on display. Just don't forget the extra reindeer treats for when the magic starts to wear off.
Follow Kat Bein on Twitter @KatSaysKill.
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