Showtime, we get it, okay? Dexter, one of your most popular recent tv series, is winding to a close (maybe), and you want to milk it for every last drop of ritualistically murdered, painstakingly archived blood.
But this latest teaser is just silly.
TVLine reports that Showtime has released a portion of its newest promotional poster for the upcoming seventh season. No, not the new poster. A portion of that poster, featuring -- wait for it -- one of Michael C. Hall's eyeballs, struggling meaningfully beneath the weight of one of his scowly eyebrows. There is also an ear, and a tiny patch of sideburn. What does it mean?
Showtime, you realize it's been six whole seasons, right? Six seasons, airing over the course of the past six years. And while the show has given viewers plenty of surprises -- the Ice Truck Killer is Dexter's brother! Rita got murdered in the bathtub! Jimmy Smits still has an acting career! -- there are certain things we've always known we could depend on. Deb's going to keep being neurotic. Masuka's going to be a horny bastard. And Dexter is always and forever going to have that exact look in his eyes.
This is not news to your viewers, is what we're saying, Showtime. It's not even news to people who've seen nothing but the show's promotional art.
Here's Dexter Season Six, for example. Note the scowly eyebrow above the devilish eyeball.
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Here's season four. Scowlybrow? Check. Intense (if amused -- c'mon, there's a baby) gaze? Double check.
Is it silly to get worked up over a not-especially-teasey teaser? Sure. But the promotional campaign for Dexter up to this point has been filled with these uninspired reminders that yes, it exists, and no, the network has no new information to share at this time. Previous art for this season has featured a garbage bag, and 16 seconds of dubstep. We are not entertained, Showtime.
On the upside, the upcoming season itself should have plenty to look forward to: the resolution of the squicky romance between Dex and Deb, for starters, and the broader question of whether Dexter's double life will finally come crashing down. The reason this is so frustrating in the first place is that we're excited to see where the story goes next. Can the new episodes really have so much to hide?
If so, we guess that's a good thing. But these teasers have gotta stop, Showtime. It's enough to make a person feel, well, a little murderous.