Destroying Chicago and Our Brain Cells: Transformers Is Back
The 154 minutes of Transformers: Dark of the Moon are loaded with unimaginable violence, but only one spasm left the audience at the theater where we watched it speechless. They cheered the robot slugfests, and the destruction of Chicago received a good number of OH SHITs.
But when Megatron walked up to the Lincoln Memorial, pounded Abe to pieces, and plopped down on his chair? No one knew what to say. That the damage done to Honest Abe was the product of a robot civil war can be viewed as irony, or at least what passes for irony in a film as unironic as this one.
But it's also a reminder of how ballsy Michael Bay's Transformers series
is--exploiting America's iconic tragedies for maximum impact. This time
Dollhouse Dance Factory: Bring It! Live
TicketsSat., Jul. 1, 8:00pm
TicketsSat., Jul. 8, 8:30pm
You're a Good Man Charlie Brown: Young Professionals
TicketsSat., Jul. 15, 2:00pm
Big Band Concerts with the Florida Wind Symphony
TicketsSat., Jul. 15, 7:00pm
Miami Curves Week Presents: Curves & Comedy
TicketsFri., Jul. 21, 9:00pm
around, we have bodies falling through the air over a wrecked city
declared "Ground Zero"; heroes intoning "Let's roll"; even a gorgeous
re-creation of the 1986 Challenger disaster.
And the prologue's moon-landing sequence (in glorious 3-D) is an
exceptional reminder that for all Bay's blowhard douchebagginess, he's a
masterful maker of images. The shot of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's ass
that immediately follows is an exceptional reminder that he's still a
The plot? Something about the moon and a space-time
bridge and a new Transformer, Sentinel Prime. A bunch of robots fight a
bunch of other robots, and you can't tell which are the good robots and
which are the bad robots because they all look alike, you robot racist.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Miami, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.