Will J.R. and Karina continue to reign supreme?
Will J.R. and Karina continue to reign supreme?

Dancing With the Stars: Nancy Grace Takes Devil Down to Georgia

So it's finally upon us: Week Seven -- the Halloween episode. But the real scares come as the horror of watching Dancing With the Stars

without Chaz Bono. We all knew this day would come, but you can't prepare for

it, you know?

So last night, one of the best party nights of the year, we stayed in,

bypassing the candy, skimpy dresses, and traditional Halloween drugs (Ketamine,

FYI) to watch a condensed but still unnecessarily long edition of

Dancing With the Stars. Which were the best costumes? Or scary name-based

puns? Let's find out...


David Arquette and Kym start the evening off by

Cha-Cha-Chaing to Steve Miller's "Abracadabra." Is "Abracadabra" supposed to be

a scary song? Not really, but it gives David the opportunity to practice magic!

They get a 24!


Dancing a Tango to "The Theme From Ghostbusters" by The Guy

who Wrote "The Theme from Ghostbusters" (Just kidding, Ray Parker Junior!) is

J.R. Martinez and Karina.  They

"bust" (get it? "Bust?") their way to a 25, which would be a good score for

most of the competition but seems weirdly disappointing for J.R. Maybe there is

a weird Halloween curse where J.R. is being haunted by the spirit of Chaz...

Nancy Grace and Tristan jive to "The Devil Went Down to Georgia"

by Charlie Daniels Band, ensuring this will be the first and last time someone

uses "Charlie Daniels" and "Jive" in the same sentence. Nancy bypasses her

usual costume of shrill, evil, Hell Demon to dress as a not quite as scary

interpretation of the Devil. Their score is a 21.

Boy Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are getting divorced!

What a load of Malarkey that marriage was! Only in Hollywood (Or as we like to

say, HollyWEIRD!). The whole thing lasted only 72 days. We've read books that

lasted longer than the marriage (72 days may seem like a long time to read a

book but it was The Hunger Games and we really wanted to savor it.) That Kim

sure is a piece of work, and we're not talking about her ass. If she and Kris

can't make it work, is there hope for the rest of us? (Probably, we aren't Kim

Kardashian and an athlete trying to score quick millions on a sham wedding).

Oh, Rob Kardashian scored a 25 dancing to the Tango to The Addams Family Song

or something....


Ricki Lake and Derek do a Paso Doble to Beyonce's "Sweet

Dreams." What kind of dance is a Paso Doble? We're not quite sure, but it seems

like a good one! 27.


Hope Solo and Maks Samba to Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of

London." Our mother saw Maks while visiting California this weekend and pretended

like she was excited and not at all disappointed that her celebrity sighting

was one of the many dancers on this show who spells their name wrong.

"Werewolves of London" isn't a particularly scary song unless you count the

tragic loss of Mr. Zevon to the music world, which we do. If you want to do

something really scary go to Netflix Instant Watch and watch the episode of The

Larry Sanders Show where Larry's guests are Zevon, John Ritter and Gene Siskel.

They are all dead! Creepy! They get a 26.

This is David Arquette's week to go, right? Or maybe Nancy

Grace. Predicting is Hard! Until next week...

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