Cultist Gets High on Zeppelin; Flies Over Miami's Erections (Photos)
This weekend when you're naked, lying on your back exposing your naughty bits to Mr. Florida Sunshine 15 yards from the Atlantic Ocean atop a terrycloth beach towel, your Haulover tanning session may be temporarily interrupted by a giant German shadow. No, it's not an elderly, overweight tourist rubbing sunscreen on his wrinkled Bavarian ass blocking your sunlight, rather it's the 246-foot long Farmers Airship, Eureka.
The German-engineered Zeppelin NT (New Technology) is in town through Sunday, and its owners, Airship Ventures, want you to experience the 305 from the sky.
Yesterday, Cultist flew out of North Perry Airport in Pembroke Pines aboard the airship, and down the eastern seaboard from Sunny Isles to about 40th Street before heading back to Broward along the same route. While it would've been great LOLZ to snap pictures of naked tourists at Haulover, we were only able to capture familiar erections of South Florida's skyline. Nonetheless, check out some of our favorite Miami erections after the jump.
South Florida is the third stop on the company's six month Covering Communities Tour,
TicketsSat., Mar. 25, 10:00pm
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The Magic of Bill Blagg Live!
TicketsSun., Mar. 26, 2:00pm
Magique - Experience The Illusion
TicketsSun., Mar. 26, 8:00pm
Dr. Morton - New President, New Foreign Policy: Two-Month Assessment
TicketsMon., Mar. 27, 7:30pm
which kicked off last month in New Orleans and offers sightseeing
trips aboard the only commercial passenger airship in the country.
is the very first time I've brought the Farmers Airship to Miami," said
Katharine Board, our enthusiastic skipper aboard Eureka, and the only
female Zeppelin pilot in the world.
The historic Fontainebleau Hotel was erected in the '50s, but underwent serious renovations in the late 2000s to revitalize its brand as a playboy.
Blue and Green Diamond
Blue and Green Diamond pictured on the right
These twin peaks were completed in 2000, and are both over 40-floors tall. Their size has been rumored to make neighboring condo residents a little jealous.
Florida Turnpike separates Pembroke Pines and Hollywood
Single-family homes are the probably the most common buildings in South Florida. Many of the houses that appear in the photograph were erected in the '60s and '70s.
Aside from snapping pictures 1,000-feet above Miami, Cultist finally solved the great blimp v. Zeppelin debate. According to the folks at Airship Ventures, the Zeppelin has a rigid internal frame, meaning that even when the ship's not filled helium, it keeps its cigar-like shape.
Blimps on the other hand, are inflated. Furthermore, engines on a Zeppelin are positioned on the sides of the hull, and the tail end of the airship. Blimp engines are mounted directly on the gondola, increasing cabin noise and vibration.
The Farmers' cabin was relatively quiet, and the ride relatively smooth. We have to agree with Airship Ventures' CEO, Alexandra Hall, comparing the Zeppelin to a sailboat. The respective movements of both crafts are quite similar.
Large windows on board the airship provide excellent panoramic views, two of which open wide enough to stick your head out. On our trip, Capt. Board commented on the lovely weather conditions, but admitted that "sometimes (they) can end up with some strong winds." However the company's "very careful" with its passengers. After all, their title sponsor's an insurance company.
If you'd like to ride the Farmers Airship, call (650) 969-8100 ext. 111, or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. A 45-minute flight costs $375, while a 90-minute sightseeing tour will set you back $700. The Airship is only in South Florida until May 22, and space is limited.
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