Capri Anderson, Bang Bus, and Six Other Top Porn Stars at Exxxotica Miami Beach

Our ongoing coverage of Exxxotica Miami Beach has already highlighted the biggest and best events of the show, given you the low down on a reality show starlet turned porn harlot, and even talked about how to break into the industry should you be so bold (or desperate). But, as with any party, the most important thing is who the hell is going to be there.

You already know there's going to be a big load of porn stars walking the floor at Exxxotica but the following group represents the money shots of the convention. Consider Cultist your own personal fluffer to get your ready for the sexual high jinx soon to take place.

7. Joslyn (I Banged Tiger Woods) James

Once upon a time, Joslyn James was just one of the thousands of

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surgically enhanced ladies appearing in skin flicks. But then a cat

named Eldridge saw one of those movies and something stirred in his

jockeys. Next thing you know James becomes a member of Tiger Woods's

erstwhile harem. Or at least that's what we heard. James will be at

Exxxotica, but really, if you wanted to see where Tiger swung his wood

you could just go to Doral.

Capri Anderson, Bang Bus, and Six Other Top Porn Stars at Exxxotica Miami Beach

6. Capri (I Banged Charlie Sheen) Anderson

Okay, so gaining most of your fame by being on the wrong end of a

Charlie Sheen meltdown is not exactly the type of thing you brag about

at your high school reunion but, well, actually, that is the type of

thing people brag about these days. Lucky for you, you can see Capri

well ahead of her reunion at Exxxotica. That is if she hasn't locked

herself in the bathroom at the Miami Beach Convention Center.

Pebbles my ass. Those are boulders!
Pebbles my ass. Those are boulders!

5. Pebbelz Da Model

Pebbelz attended a Miami Heat game at the American Airlines Arena

earlier this year and her ASSets distracted the entire arena, including

the hoopsters on the court. The hip-hop video vixen has a surgically

enhanced booty so large that we think whoever performed her surgery

should have included a microphone that plays "beep, beep, beep" when she

walks backward. Pebbelz makes J-Lo look positively Asian.

Capri Anderson, Bang Bus, and Six Other Top Porn Stars at Exxxotica Miami Beach

4. Bad Girl Miami's Erica Lynne

Erica Lynne is the just the latest babe to trade reality show scripts

for porn scripts (we wonder which one is shorter?), but we have a soft

spot in our heart for her because she was a Miami Bad Girl. We can only

imagine the pride her parents feel. First it's reality star hussy. Then

porn star. The next logical step is being another Charlie Sheen baby

momma. 

Capri Anderson, Bang Bus, and Six Other Top Porn Stars at Exxxotica Miami Beach

3. Michelle "Bombshell" (I Banged Jesse James) McGee

Hmm? It seems most of this list is made up of nobodies who slept with

somebodies. Bombshell McGee looks exactly like what every wife images a

homewrecker would, just ask Sandra Bullock. McGee does distinguish

herself from the pack with an amazing array of tattoos and a penchant of

dressing like Nazi SS. If you run into her ask her what the "W" and "P"

tattoos she allegedly has on each leg stand for. "White Power" or

"Woman Pride?"

Capri Anderson, Bang Bus, and Six Other Top Porn Stars at Exxxotica Miami Beach

2. SuperStarXXX

She's large and in charge. SuperStarXXX brings at least a whole other

dimension to porn, probably a couple. She isn't the first super-sized

porn actress, but we're going to say she's the baddest.

Capri Anderson, Bang Bus, and Six Other Top Porn Stars at Exxxotica Miami Beach

1. Ron Jeremy

We have it on good authority that Ron Jeremy tongued at least a couple

of Cultist writers, but we'll never say who. Of course, that wouldn't be

a surprise. He has become the national spokesperson for the Association

of Utterly Goofy Lovers in Porn (UGLI-P). He might make you ignore the

five reasons we once gave to date a chubbster,

but his schlong is still an institution. And should be revered as such.

If you see this van coming your way, run, run like the wind away from it.
If you see this van coming your way, run, run like the wind away from it.

Bang Bus

The locally owned but world famous Bang Bus, which is actually a creepy

looking white van, will also make an appearance. This is the vehicle used in those famously bad porn movies where women are picked up and "banged" for money. Here's hoping they take it

through a car wash before showing up -- and please splurge on the deluxe

cleaning where they shampoo the seat cushions.

Miami Beach Exxxotica 2011 runs May 20, 4 pm - 11 pm; May 21, 12 -

11 p.m.; May 22, 12 - 7 p.m.; at the Miami Beach Convention Center.

Tickets cost: $25 - $70. For more information visit

www.eXXXoticaExpo.com.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

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Miami Beach Convention Center

1901 Convention Center Dr.
Miami Beach, FL 33139

305-673-7311

www.miamibeachconvention.com


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