With Britney Spears's recent revelation that she would want to be a teacher "specializing in history and reading" if she couldn't sing, we were intrigued enough to ponder what lives our favorite and not-so-favorite celebrities would live out in an alternate universe.
From the depths of fast food management to the heights of political power, here are a few career paths the stars can always fall back on.
5. Gwyneth Paltrow - Lifeguard
After we discovered that Gwyneth Paltrow saved a life on 9/11 by nearly
running over a pedestrian, we couldn't help but feel a little jealous.
Why shouldn't each of us get our own "Sliding Doors moment"? If Gwyneth
decided to become a lifeguard, we'd all get to share a little in the
Paltrow life-saving magic. Imagine the relief you would feel as, right
before you sink into the water, you see an Oscar winner paddling out to
4. Nancy Grace - Kids' soccer coach
We all know she cares about children and we all know she likes to give
orders, so how about giving our favorite legal analyst entry into the
high-stakes, high-pressure world of little league soccer? Referees would
be advised not to make any bad calls--she tends not to let those go.
3. James Cameron - Fast food manager
With his demanding nature and notorious perfectionism, James Cameron
simply belongs in the fast food industry, where money, flash, and
limited risk-taking rule all--an addition of yet another meat patty to a
burger sounds just as original as the plot to Avatar. But with Jim
breathing down your neck, prepare to be berated for giving a customer
too many sauce packets.
2. Jennifer Aniston - Motivational speaker
The media loves to pick on Jennifer Aniston--they've been treating her as
a woman on the cusp of becoming a cat lady ever since her divorce from
Brad Pitt. Jennifer could easily channel all that negative energy
through some self-help seminars about dealing with seeing your ex on the
cover of every magazine in America.
1. Oprah Winfrey - Congress
Face it: we already do whatever Oprah tells us to do. So what better way
to give Oprah more control of our lives than have the talk-show queen
fill in for the combined 535 members of the Senate and House of
Representatives? Partisan gridlock would become a thing of the past as
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Congress unanimously passes resolution after resolution demanding us to
remember our spirit.