Bill Murray Is Probably Not Going to Crash Your House Party
Don't hide your groundhogs just yet.
Imagine this: actor, comedian, and lovable weirdo Bill Murray traveling from coast to coast, showing up on the doorsteps of strangers' homes to drink their booze, belt out a few verses of karaoke, and crash on their futons for the night.
Now imagine one of the stops on this party crashing tour is Miami.
You want it to be true, don't you? So very much, right? Enough that you'd suspend all disbelief just to protect the dream that one day it might be "Suntory Time" in your very own living room?
You're not alone. That's why this flyer announcing "Bill Murray's Party Crashing Tour Dates & Locations" has fans of Caddyshack and Wes Anderson alike stocking up on booze and reserving karaoke machine rentals all across the country.
Dollhouse Dance Factory: Bring It! Live
TicketsSat., Jul. 1, 8:00pm
TicketsSat., Jul. 8, 8:30pm
You're a Good Man Charlie Brown: Young Professionals
TicketsSat., Jul. 15, 2:00pm
Big Band Concerts with the Florida Wind Symphony
TicketsSat., Jul. 15, 7:00pm
Miami Curves Week Presents: Curves & Comedy
TicketsFri., Jul. 21, 9:00pm
But the whole thing is pretty clearly a hoax.
The tour announcement came from a website called Super Official News, which is your first clue something's not quite right. It reads:
Mr. Murray did not speak to reporters but did have his agent Paul Horner answer some of their questions and make a few statements. "Mr. Murray is looking to take a vacation around the United States. He's hoping that if he shows up to your party with a bottle of wine or vegetable tray, you will be able to make the proper accommodations for him. This includes allowing him to sleep on your couch or in a spare bedroom, both of those options being completely acceptable."
Oh, Murray, you adorable, accommodating bastard. But herein lies your second clue that the tour's a fake: Chicagoist reports that Murray does not actually have an agent.
The tour schedule laid out in its flyer also seems impossibly packed. Even if it's possible to hit a house party in a different city every single night for more than a month, it's an exhausting itinerary -- certainly nothing like a vacation. Besides, we just don't see Murray as the kind of guy who'd crash and dash. (We like to imagine waking up and walking into our kitchen to see him wearing a frilly apron and making us eggs, like a proper gentleman.)
The final clue, however, is this: The phone number listed on the flyer for the "24 Hour Bill Murray Party Tour Crashing Hotline" is actually the phone number of the Westboro Baptist Church, the religious group known for staging anti-gay demonstrations and picketing the funerals of American soldiers. Or, at least, it was; calling the number now just gets you a busy signal.
So yeah, the Bill Murray Party Crashing Tour is probably not a thing. But it could be. Murray, after all, is known for exactly this sort of randomness; it's what made the hoax halfway believable in the first place. So maybe if we all express our severe disappointment, he'll take a page out of the Taco Bell PR handbook and airlift himself to South Florida for a tour of our homes and hearts.
Please, Bill Murray? Pretty please? We promise not to say anything about Groundhog Day.
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