Bethenny Frankel Deserves a Role in Michael Bay's Pain and Gain

Mark Wahlberg. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Bethenny Frankel. One of these things is not like the others.

And yet, US Weekly reports, the three could soon have something in common: a role in Michael Bay's Pain and Gain, the film based on this New Times crime feature. Two unnamed sources told the magazine that Frankel was offered an audition by a scout who didn't recognize her as the reality TV fame-monger she is, and that that audition, which took place here in Miami, was "fabulous."

That all may sound suspect to you, but remember what we're dealing with here. It's a Michael Bay film starring The Rock, so "fabulous" in this case probably does not mean "Oscar-worthy." And if they're not casting an actual Miamian, Frankel's about as close to one as you can get. In fact, the more we think about it, the more we imagine her fitting in perfectly. Here's why.

She's a New Yorker.
New York transplants just might be Miami's largest minority. You can't elbow your way through a club, take a stroll down Lincoln Road, or check out at Publix without hearing that characteristic accent. If she's given the part of a real Miamian, Frankel's foreignness could actually lend her some authenticity. And we're guessing she's gonna need it.

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She knows this town.
Shilling different products, all in service of shilling her own persona, Frankel's visited Miami several times. She's even made appearances at the South Beach Wine and Food Festival. (She claims she's a "natural foods chef.") So she hasn't just vacationed here -- she's done some actual work, which we assume means she's seen more of Miami than Ocean Drive. That's all valuable experience she can, um, draw upon as she, uh, passionately portrays her character in the, um, film. Or something.

She's a fame whore.
For a person who's not an actress, Frankel sure does have plenty of TV shows under her belt. There was The Apprentice: Martha Stewart. There was The Real Housewives of New York. There were her own spinoffs, Bethenny Getting Married? and Bethenny Ever After. And who can forget her performance on Skating With the Stars? We mean, besides everyone. In any case, the lady's clearly comfortable in front of a camera. And constant attention-seeking does make her seem more like a real Miamian.

She's got chops.
US Weekly points out that Frankel has also had actual acting experience, with scripted lines and everything. You've heard of Hollywood Hills 90028, right? And that '90s classic, Wish Me Luck? You haven't? Then maybe, in 10 years, you won't remember Pain and Gain either. Fingers crossed.

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