Battle of Who Sucks the Most

Yes, the Florida Marlins suck. Suck like I-95 at 5:00 p.m. Suck like Rachael Ray on the Food Network. Suck like President Bush doing Shakespeare. They really, really suck. But the Chicago Cubs are not exactly the Chicago White Sox. As of a couple of weeks ago, the Cubbies were...

By Greg Baker

May 18, 2006

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "19274298",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "17482312",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18711090",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17482310",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18711090",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17482313",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        }
      ]

Yes, the Florida Marlins suck. Suck like I-95 at 5:00 p.m. Suck like Rachael Ray on the Food Network. Suck like President Bush doing Shakespeare. They really, really suck. But the Chicago Cubs are not exactly the Chicago White Sox. As of a couple of weeks ago, the Cubbies were ranked last in the National League in hits, RBIs, and runs. Team batting average: .247. So the three-game home stand beginning tonight at 7:05 should be downright competitive. Who sucks most? Sorry. Bad attitude. Hey, the Marlins bullpen has come through lately. In four games at the beginning of the month, relievers gave up only three runs on nine hits in eighteen innings, holding a 1.47 ERA. Dan Uggla, who plays second base, is emerging as a star: As of May 8, the reliable fielder was hitting .278, with four homers and fourteen RBIs. And already this season, Alfredo Amezaga has played every position except pitcher and catcher. And, as of this writing, the Marlins had not yet moved to San Antonio. Enjoy what you can, while you can.
Mon., May 22, 7:05 p.m.

KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.