Not to overreact or anything, but if you missed last week's episode of Basketball Wives, you should be deeply ashamed of yourself. Evelyn Lozada chucked a bottle of wine at Kenya Bell because she called her "loose," and it all went down at a very nice restaurant. What, pray tell, were you doing that was more important than booze-flinging bitches?
Nothing, that's what.
It might have looked like just one or two bottles of vino. But that's where you're wrong. The restaurant's plates were was also victims of their violence. And the best part was that after it was all over and Kenya was removed from the restaurant, the rest of the ladies simply continued on when their evening. Yes, they all had "holy shit" faces on, but it looked as if dinner was still ordered post-throwdown. Way to keep it classy.
>For the last three seasons, Suzie has been Miss I Talk Shit On Everyone and Anyone. And now, in round number four of Wives, she is attempting to get Jennifer Williams and Royce back together on the friendship train. Um, what? Remember when Royce was BFFs with Jennifer's crazy ex-husband, and retweeted her naked pics a few years back? Throughout those years, Miss Williams said some hurtful things to say about Royce. They're both holding grudges.
Basically, Jennifer and Royce are the Israel and Palestine or reality TV. So when they finally did sit down to discuss their differences, it was monumental. Suzie is right -- she should be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Them being friends again is quite the feat. Maybe next we can send Suzie to the Middle East?
Throughout the episode, however, the women seemed, well, quiet. Too quiet. You've heard the expression "the calm before the storm"? We're thinking that's what this is. They're all discussing how they will all be on good behavior during their upcoming vacation and trip to Gulfstream Park race track. But we all know that isn't going to happen -- why else would we watch this show?
Last night's episode also introduced a new character to the show in the form of Nia, AKA Evelyn's friend/assistant. You might have heard chatter that Jennifer was hit in the face by a friend of Evelyn's while out filming with the ladies. We are going to assume it's sweet little Nia.
And then... it was time to see Kenya's music video. Oh, the music video. Right off the bat, Shauna, Tami's business partner, informs her, "We need you to have your own identity. You're a little Tami, you're a little Evelyn, and you're a little Jennifer. Who is Kenya? You're the single black female." Good job getting it started with a verbal smack in the face.
When it came time to watch the video, the woman's faces looked as if we had taped their eyes open and forced them to watch a train wreck. Because really, that is what it was. We aren't even sure how to explain it, so just see for yourself:
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Dancing, acting, and lip-syncing are things that obviously not in her forte. And what's with the bedazzled cougar look? Really, Suzie said it best: "Kenya lives on Planet Bananas."