Baseball Wives, Vh1's Newest Hot Mess, Promises Drama Aplenty
Remember the days when being a housewife was considered a bad thing? Well, listen up ladies: those days are no more! Thanks to Bravo, if you have a ring on your finger and lots of money (or are willing to pretend like you do,) then they want to hire you. And if you are or have ever been married to an athlete or just had sex with one, Vh1 wants your resume.
"The show features the wives and girlfriends of talented baseball players from various teams," the network says in a release on the program. 'No shrinking violets here and if they have to bring on a little drama -- then so be it."
If we are relating the new series to Real Housewives, we're going to assume this is the "Orange County" of the franchise. The only hint of any race that isn't white is a few of the girl's terrible spray tans.
The Ladies: Let us meet the girls, shall we? Tanya Grace (ex-wife of retired Chicago's Mark Grace), Brooke Villone (wife of big-league veteran Ron Villone), Anna Benson (wife of Arizona pitcher Kris Benson), Chantell Kendall (ex-wife of Kansas City's Jason Kendall) and Jordana Lenz. We can already tell Jordana is going to be our favorite. She doesn't have a husband or an ex, which means she is the token groupie.
The Men: Unlike most other Wives shows, a lot of these ladies are actually married to professional athletes. Like Ron Villone, who has been on twelve teams since making the Bigs in '95. Um, why does every team feel the needs to kick him out after two seasons? And Kris Benson made over $38 million in his career. Can't wait to watch his wife spend his money.
Sluts: We don't know about you, but we love a girl with very little morals. What can we say, other than that they entertain us? And from what we hear from our friend that plays professional baseball (we wont name drop), during training season, the ladies come in droves. According to Vh1's press release, "these ladies are fiercely protective of their turf and their men." What that really means is they are willing to cut a bitch if she gets too close.
The Great State of Arizona: We aren't going to lie to you and say we know a lot about this state. We know John McCain is from there, it is really hot and they would like to build a big ole fence around their state to keep everybody out. But we think we will learn a little bit more about Arizona since Baseball Wives is set in Scottsdale, home many of the Spring Training Cactus League games.
Drama: We're just praying to Baby Jesus, there are a couple of fights just like this:
Get the Arts & Culture Newsletter
Find out about arts and culture events in Miami and offers you won't hear about anywhere else.