We start off this episode with the great news that Kristen isn't going
home. When she does her walk of shame into the house, she looks
pretty wrecked, obviously hung over as balls, and we have to love her
for it. Here's a shocker: Erica's pissed to see her back. Is it just us or is the girl super
annoying? Why are Erica's eyes ridiculously wide open all the time? Does she see dead people?
And then, tada! The new girl finally arrives! But before she even shows up, another
mannequin bites the dust. (Those poor things are really receiving poor
treatment. Do they get workers comp when things go bad?) Right off the bat, newbie Kayleigh is pretty boring. She's a "bad girl" because she's
aggressive and likes to party? Wow. Welcome to the show, dumb ass. They
don't let you even apply if your liver isn't black and you don't fight
at the drop of a "slut" or "whore."
First, the other girls start ignoring her, and we're a little disappointed in the ladies for their lame hazing. We're glad that it only lasted like two minutes before they got the great idea of getting her wasted while they stand back and take shots of water. We love that she gets drunk and starts talking nonsense. She's going to fit in perfectly.
There's a lot of gay pride in this episode and we love it. The amazingness of Miami's annual Gay Pride Parade was shown for the world to see. For anyone who has experienced it, you know how great it is. It really is one of the best days in Miami. Gay, straight, bi, tranny, asexual--head out to the shit the next year, because it's just a bunch of great people drinking and having a good time. It's like a normal day in Miami, but with buttloads of double rainbows.
But in this episode, it wasn't only the festival that was showcased. Brandi's 90% lesbian side came out in last night's episode, and we tip our hats to her. The bad girls even went to Palace during Pride. When the drag queens surround the girls, they look like a bunch of overly made-up ladies out on the town. Wait, that's a chop to the queens. We take it back.
One of the highlights of Episode 4 happens when they're coming back from the club in the limo wasted, eating pizza. (Maybe we are more like them then we thought we were.) Who is this Kayleigh to hate on Churchill's? It's a great bar, bitch! Don't walk into our city and hate on one of our best local spots.
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And then, as in the last few episodes, it all ends with a fight. This brawl goes down after Erica's friends come from Philly with about 17 people in tow. Like polite house guests, they start getting wasted, throwing up, and getting into physical fights. When the newbie requests they all get their ghetto asses out of there, the Chris Brown of Erica's group starts talking shit to stripper Erica.
One thing we have learned by now: Don't fuck with Erica. She begins spitting on him, and breaking shit. When Dirty D AKA Danielle asks her to stop breaking their house, Erica pretty much throws it in D's face that she isn't a heroin addict like her. It def wasn't the nicest thing to say, but when Danielle starts flipping tables Housewives style, we're stoked to learn how this hot mess will end next week.