When you've been repeatedly accused of domestic abuse, might not want to joke about killing your exes -- just sayin'. But when Charlie Sheen -- along with wingmen comic Jeffery Ross, Dennis Rodman, and Filter guitarist Robert Patterson -- hit the BankAtlantic Center last Saturday night, he did just that.
According to the Palm Beach Post, in a particularly dark game of "shag, marry, kill," Sheen said he would move to Utah and marry both Denise Richards and Brooke Mueller (who, by the way, grew up in South Florida). Then he said he would kill ex-goddess Bree Olson -- after, of course, having sex with her. The humor of this exchange is lost considering such a scenario is very well in the realm of possibility for this addict/megalomaniac/wife beater. If only the crowd of protesters outside could have stormed the stage and branded his forehead with asshole.
Based on the handful of reviews, Sheen's local stop was somewhere
between awesome and a total bomb. There was no loud heckling as at his
Detroit show, perhaps because some of the audience members got their seats for
free. (Sheen gave away tickets on his Twitter feed.) The Sheen Monster
tried to ingratiate himself by donning a Marlins jersey while many male
audience members reciprocated by wearing bowling shirts (Sheen's
usual attire on Two and a Half Men).
It's clear the Broward edition of Violent Torpedo of Truth was saved by master celebrity
roaster Ross, whose quips trumped anything the rambling actor had to
say. Some favorites:
"If you're winning, this must not be a custody hearing."
"You're the black sheep of a family responsible for three Mighty Ducks movies."
"Your dad is ashamed to share his fake last name with you."
Here's a jangly fan video of Ross roasting Sheen at BankAtlantic:
The gossip sites are all in a tizzy this morning because during Sheen's Broward stop,
he revealed that one of his goddesses broke up with him via text message.
Hey, Charlie, if you think that's rude, we'd love to hear what you'd
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call someone who threatens to cut his wife's throat.
Also making headlines is Sheen's stance against Donald Trump as president, which involves cufflinks and has nothing to do with the real estate mogul's bad business sense or lack of a political background.