Art Basel Bingo 2011: Play Along!
Back in March, we debuted Ultra Bingo. The exploration of a subculture through a game of chance was more enjoyable that we thought it would be, so why not apply it to another major Miami event? So here you have it, Basel Bingo!
Like its Ultra cousin, Basel Bingo is packed with (stereotypical)
stuff you'll see during the week of Art Basel Miami Beach. The game is simple: If you see an item, mark it. (Feel free to send us images proving you've spotted an item.)
This year, however, in addition to the game being available for download, we also will have a limited amount of printed cards we'll be distributing throughout the week. Just approach a New Times staff member or street team, and they'll hand you one.
Dollhouse Dance Factory: Bring It! Live
TicketsSat., Jul. 1, 8:00pm
TicketsSat., Jul. 8, 8:30pm
You're a Good Man Charlie Brown: Young Professionals
TicketsSat., Jul. 15, 2:00pm
Big Band Concerts with the Florida Wind Symphony
TicketsSat., Jul. 15, 7:00pm
Miami Curves Week Presents: Curves & Comedy
TicketsFri., Jul. 21, 9:00pm
And what happens when you get B-I-N-G-O? Well, you can own a sense of accomplishment and job well done. After the jump, we explain the board in detail.
Art Basel Bingo 2011:
Bansky Imitators: The art world can't see to agree if Banksy is a sellout or a genius. That still doesn't give anyone the right to copy the street artist. I mean, it takes a lot of work to create stencils to which make obvious social commentary. Capitalism is bad, y'all. (Now buy my overpriced artwork.)
DIY Fashion: It's like Etsy threw up all over this poor soul. Bonus points if he or she claims to have made it themselves. DIY FAIL!
Malfi: It's Basel time, that means FriendsWithYou's Malfi is bound to make an appearance.
Fair Tote Bags: Look at me, I've been to all the fairs. Basel, SCOPE, Art Asia, NADA -- this is just my subtle way of telling you I'm awesome.
New York Hipsters: Different from the L.A. (always want to be the life of the party) and the local (always want to crash the party) varieties. They dress in back, act esoteric, and never smile. Yep, they are inherently better than you.
Elfin Gallery Assistant: She's kewt, petite, and has an accent that you just can't place. Bonus points if she claims to be from Iceland or New Zealand.
Pale People with Cuban Coffee: Mitzy, we absolutely must partake in the local fare. I hear the kewbanoe coffees are just delightful. (Often spotted at Enriqueta's.)
Basel-Branded BMW: This is how the 1% goes from fair to fair.
European Accent: Doesn't count if it's French (too easy). Bonus point if the person is obviously emphasizing his or her Eurocentricness.
Sex Toys as Art: An art cliché that needs to die ... much like not naming your artwork.
New York Times Reporter: Knows his or her publication is inherently better all the others there (including ours). Don't worry, they'll let you know they work for The New York Times. You don't even need to ask.
Body Fluids as Art: See Sex Toys as Art.
Sam Keller: We know, he's no longer involved with Art Basel Miami Beach (hasn't been since 2007), but we still have a soft spot for him. That's why you can automatically claim Bingo if you spot him this week.
Badge Whores: Must get every press or VIP badge available and show them off a single lanyard, then people will realize I'm important.
Le Baron: Once again at the Florida Room (we think). Only counts if you make it inside of this ultra-exclusive, artist hotspot -- but chances are you won't.
Pitchfork-Approved Band: Neon Indian, YACHT, Black Lips, Salem, and the like. At one point they may have gotten a "Best New Music" rating, but you aren't always sure they deserved it.
Hand-Rolled Cigarettes: Nothing says I'm bourgeoisie and a starving artist then making your own smokes.
Grolsch Beer: It's the Gatorade of Basel.
Ironic Facial Hair: Bonus points if the man (or woman, who knows!) uses wax ... ironically, of course.
A-List Celebs: P.Diddy, Angelina Jolie, Matt Damon... Miami usually gets D-listers most of the year, so it's refreshing to see people with actual talent shop amongst the crowds.
Corporate Art: Not that there's anything wrong with corporate brands sponsoring art exhibits -- it gave us the super kawaii Sanrio event last year -- but don't try and tell me it's ultimatly not about selling a product ... because it is.
Bow Ties: Men wear 'em hoping to be the one person brandishing a unique piece of neckwear ... problem is everyone else had the same idea.
Yarn Bombing: Nothing says "fuck you" to the man more than knitting a cozy for a statue or other city monument.
Street Art Hustler: While gallery hopping in Wynwood, you'll notice artists hanging pieces on chain-link fences inviting you back to their studios to see more. Follow them ... what's the worse that can happen?
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